Divine creativity equals unusual me

A couple of weeks back i was fortunate(uhm) to be invited to a hen night..which was to say the least, interesting and informative..if not a little shocking. One of the topics to come up was douching...as i said i never get why some topics are such taboo yet so crucial..you only have to provide a forum for such topics to realize that enough people are also experiencing the same things or wondering about the same thing/...or different stuff which you can learn from..while others just show you how diverse we are as human beings. I have informed the whole world how i hate working in nde4cember...its my first December working and to say ten truth i have been moaning about it non-stop...today was a Friday and December so you can guess my motivation level for work...subzero...i worked in the morning and in they afternoon decided to research some of the stuff that were being discussed at the hen party.

Below are questions and responses from some interactive website....some had me in stitches ..and for the first time i laughed till i shed tears...made my day...i also realized some people thinks its perfectly okay to shower once a week!!!!!!!!!


1.by seeekingginfo on March 22, 2009 at 3:18 PM

I'm 17, and engaged to be married in 2 years... my fiancee and I do have a sex life, and the last time we did it, he ripped something "up there", now it dangles... ick. I don't know what it is, and I can't seem to find anything on the web about it: it used to be a smallish fleshy "loop" (I used to get tampons stuck on it occasionally), but now it's just a... string-thing. Does this ring a bell to anyone? Does anyone know what it is?

Response:\by RandomRainbows on April 5, 2009 at 4:54 PM

its ur hymen...u have a septate hymen...google it.....it broke and now its still there xD o.o u need to get it cut off by a Gynaecologist or u could do it urself....but its better to go to a Gynaecologist ._.



2.by Vajayjayman on March 23, 2009 at 8:06 PM

Guys, I'm 17 going on 18. I just wanna know . . . . WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHERRY?!?!?!

RESPONSE:
+1 by jenero on April 20, 2009 at 12:33 AM

it's like a barrier. It gets broken the first time you have sex and then you're not a virgin anymore. Then there is a little bleeding. They call it a cherry because after it breaks, it bleeds.

0 by Rhyre on June 18, 2009 at 10:05 AM

Yeah, the 'barrier' is scientifically known as a 'hymen'. Losing your virginity is biologically signified by your hymen being broken. :]


3.by Herpesnator on June 8, 2009 at 6:43 PM

My vagina hurts , it leaks weird things



4.by NaGfH on June 21, 2009 at 2:40 AM

Um, I heard something unusual today and wanted to know if this is accurate or not: that its not uncommon for a woman to NOT HAVE a clitoris. It sounded ridiculous but I wanted to be sure.

THIS ONE KILLED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111LIEK FOR THE FIRST TIME I LAUGHED TILL I CRIED...AND AM IN THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. +1 by zoe001821 on July 4, 2009 at 1:02 AM

OK I NEED SERIOUS HELP HERE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IHATE THE WAY MY VAGINA LOOKS IT LOOKS WERID AND MINE HAS BIG LIPS AND I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF THEMM ANYWAY LIKE EXERCISE OR ANYTHING PLZ PPLZ HELP

Response::::::Vaginal lips vary a lot from one woman to the next in both size and color. The size and color may change a bit during puberty. Since you're 14, you're probably going through those changes now and just aren't used to your new body yet. Exercise won't change your size or color. So you're just going to have to get used to your body and learn to love it!

6.by pixxie123l on July 6, 2009 at 5:28 PM

Hello, I was just going to ask if its normal if infront, I dont want to be clueless here but im not sure where my vagina is. Theres like this outy thing that hangs and when i walk it moves and It REALLY annoys me and I dont again want to be MORE clueless but can it affect the future like the pregnancy or anything like that?

Please respond It would help alot :) Thank you

RESPONSE::::::::The female body can be kind of confusing with all the hair and folds of skin. But we have three holes down there. The first one is where pee comes out. The second is the vagina. The third is where poop comes out.


As for the thing that hangs, it's tough to say what it is without looking at you. You could have a large clitoris or large labia. The size of the clitoris and labia can vary a lot from one woman to the next, so it's ok for them to be on the larger side.


But seeing a doctor wouldn't be a bad idea. Since the doctor could actually look at your body, he or she would be able to tell you for sure what it is and answer any questions that you may have.

0 by pixxie123l on July 7, 2009 at 3:13 PM

Okay, thank you very much for your reply, and I looked up internet, because i wasent certain of it. but it says its a labia and again thanks :)

0 by pixxie123l on July 7, 2009 at 5:07 PM

1 more thing, Is it going to affect anything if I have a labia?

0 by Sanssouci on July 7, 2009 at 7:47 PM

No, "labia" just means the vaginal lips. All women have them.

0 by pixxie123l on July 7, 2009 at 8:32 PM

Okay, thank you





7.by xkeepitgreene on July 11, 2009 at 9:25 PM

I am 17 & just lost my virginity to my boyfriend a few months ago. It bled, a lot, so i know he broke my hymen. Then we had sex a second time-- no bleeding. The third (and last) time there was blood everywhere, dripping nonstop. How many times after loosing your virginity should you bleed during sex?
Also, my boyfriend fingers me a few times a week. The past few times he's fingered me, I've bled. I know it's not my period. He said he felt "strings" up in my vagina, but that he broke them. Today, my boyfriend fingered me again for the first time in seven days (we waited because we thought the bleeding wouldn't happen if we gave my vagina time to heal) but it started to bleed again. He also said he felt more "strings". What is he feeling? And why does my vagina keep bleeding? I know it's not because i'm not wet enough, and he is the only person i've done anything sexual with, likewise for him, so no STDs, etc. Answers would be much appreciated! Merci :]


Strings!!!!!!!!!!!!!1?????????????????????

RESPONSE:::::::by Sanssouci on July 12, 2009 at 10:49 AM

There\'s no certain number of times you have to have sex in order to stop bleeding. Every woman is different. Some women never bleed during sex. Others might bleed the second time but not the first. Some might not bleed the first 100 times, but then might bleed when they go for 101!

The vaginal tissue is very delicate. It can tear if it is too dry, if our partner is too rough with us, if our partner has sharp fingernails, etc. And even a tiny cut down there can lead to a lot of blood. You can try a water-based lubricant and see if it helps because a lot of women think they\'re wet enough until they try a store bought lubricant. Then they realize they could have been wetter!

But I have no idea what strings he\'s feeling. I\'ve never experienced that in my own vagina, and my partners have never mentioned it either. So given that along with the fact that the strings break and cause you to bleed a lot, I\'d recommend seeing an ob-gyn about it.

8.by unknown7 on August 24, 2009 at 6:02 PM

this is akward for me to say all this but... my boyfriend and I were having sex and he used four fingers to finger me and it hurt! After that I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding! Now it hurts to sit, bend, and sometimes walk. Should I go to a doctor or what? this happend today and I have had sex before

by Sanssouci on September 4, 2009 at 9:58 PM

It's possible that he tore you with his fingernail. That happens a lot because the vaginal tissues are so delicate. It should heal on its own, but scrapes do leave you vulnerable to infection, so see an ob-gyn if you notice any problems.

Lesson learnt...FINGERNAILS ON DDUES ARE YOUR ENEMIES

9.by Rika_B on October 25, 2009 at 12:03 PM

Hey Im a virgin. I was wondering if it is weird for my vagina to be itchy but it only goes on for 3 days (I think its just cause I didn't shower for a week but I still want to make sure), I do shave but I have been doing it for awhile and I sometimes get itchy when my hair grows back too.

READ THE PART WHERE SHE DID NOT SHOWER FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RESPONSE>>>>>by Sanssouci on October 26, 2009 at 3:06 PM

Shaving and skipping showers certainly can make you itchy. It's best to wash your vulva every day with water and a mild soap. A lot of women shave, but it's actually not recommended. In addition to causing itching and irritation, it can increase your chance of getting an infection down there. So your best bet would be to wash properly and stop shaving. If you still have itching even after that, you should go to the ob-gyn just to make sure you don't have an infection.

My work life basically means my blogging life is basically extinct. So much has happened

1.i did so many rounds of interviews and in December i get to start as an ASSOCIATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!can you believe that....i did not look for this job...am still bawled over...but till i see the contract terms let me relax

2.i learnt what office politics is all about. i Think its shame when a whole senior manager gets competitive with an intern..like dude what wrong with you...so you started at a a lower rank and did not rise as fast...does that give you the right to try and sabotage my career.what a prat!!!!!!!1

3.I also realized not many people will be very amused with my career advancement..but tough luck..id id not sleep my way to it..i did not lie my way to it..i did not pretend to be what i was not..in fact i was totally myself..Thank you Lord.

4. I really appreciate my friends who are not sorority types who feel every single second we have to be together...i had to encounter such a person to really fully appreciate you guys...THANK YOU!!!!!!!i wish that person would just stop crowding me!!!!!! you are an awesome person but men you are really crowding me..i am at the resentment stage soon it will be the hate stage!1

5.I have to move out by June next year..i just need two flat mates who don't mind living in a furnished apartment and sharing rent...and am not living with guys,...females only.

6.i discovered i like on of my very good pals...and i like HIM more than a pal...lets just say after today i will know for sure....what up.

7.I discovered lame book and boy did i not die of laughter while equally gaped in shock at what some people post on face book. LAME BOOK is my new drug...

8.Sauti sol totally rocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!waaaaaaaaah that group is off the charts....while at the concert some guy proposed to the girlfriend...i am convinced the guy was drunk!! it just reinforced the truth that i HATE PUBLIC PROCLAMATIONS.I think they are insincere and its blackmail. IT IS BETWEEN THE TWO of us!! If i were the girl i would have crept outside to leave him to look like the eeejit that he is!!!!!!!!!1but she seemed impressed so i guess he read her right.

9. Some twat is still stalking me!!!!!! i am fully convinced the guy is clinically insane!!!!!!On th same note whether related i discovered some people actually eat the placenta after giving birth....some even fry it....some human beings should be shipped off to neptune
10. THis is not a proper blog post but i feel better all the same for posting s

I keep meaning to blog about my party and all the drama fun and insanity that went down...but as ever i don't get the time even now i cant say i will.
I can definitely say i had mad fun like nothing and i am glad i threw that party and most people who came had crazy fun. The only downside was i acquired some stalker...ok fine a guy i know but who decided he was being possessive..The song that comes to mind is one by Tracy Chapman
Say I have known some
Less than I should
Say I have known some
Too well for my own good
Say I´m a saint of mercy
Say I´m a whore
I´ve been a lot of things
But never yours

I wear my mama´s dress
Her finest clothes
Daddy showed me outside
To meet you on the front porch
I laugh at all your jokes
But you look bored
I´ve been a lot of things but never yours

You never cross my mind
You can be sure
You´ll never catch my eye
Waiting for you watching the door
I let you hold me
Dry lip kiss me on the dance hall floor
I´ve been a lot of things
But never yours

Never yours
Never yours
Never yours
Never yours
Never yours
Never yours
Never yours
Never yours

So you say you won
It was a bet
A game of pool or cards
I repay my family´s debt
I let you lie beside me
With no remorse
I´ve been a lot of things
But never yours


Say I have known some
Less than I should
Say I have known some
Too well for my own good
Say I´m a saint of mercy
Say I´m a whore
I´ve been a lot of things
But never yours

Dude will get his own post whether it will take me one year to get time to blog about him...i will blog about him nonetheless..the biggest lesson i learnt was that this casual relationships or arrangements are not for me....this time i was lucky i was the party that was so detached and wanting to get away..what if it were the other way around...i shudder to think

I also learnt that i can still finish with a guy in a manner that conveys the fact that i want out and i am not changing my mind yet still leave the person with their dignity intact...this particular guy really pushed it..but i can honestly say i was fair....

A lesson that i have always known but have thought of doubting was my cynicism when it comes to men..especially men who feel that they are charmers....if your first reaction is not to trust them..do not trust them even if they are on the verge of tears...even they cry.....i for one do not know what to do with a man in tears....but never believe them....i almost believed one..only to learn how he was playing a game....there i was wasting my pity on a scoundrel....

A good thing happened a few weeks back...i realized that some spell that some dude had me under for years was broken...and what relief....
The downside is am now getting under the spell of another friend whom i have gotten close to.....and i thought turning 25 meant less drama...

I had no reason for this post but i miss blogging...this wasn't for people who follow this blog..but rather for me....
Mostly its to get away from the irony of my life...i am never yours you psycho....no matter how long you pursue me..never yours.yet my dear friend,you has done nothing to pursue me, i want to be yours yet you cant understand that...am out

Tomorrow is my birthday and its such a big thing i have to blog about it even if all i am writing is one line.MY PARTY IS ALL PLANNED OUT....i may have gone over board in inviting several guys who have vested interest in me...but what the heck.....its gonna be fun....will blog more after the actual event.
i can honestly say that i have done what i wanted to do before i turned 25 and i have no regrets.If only i could dump some guy before then...i would be much happier,...but we cant have everything..can we....?

Big brother is so interesting.. imagine...on the same month as my birthday...i have job....maybe not permanent but i am glad that after all that waiting i have something...

IN a paradox i have learned how really alone i am....yet how really loved and surrounded i really am.Alone in that the consequences of my decisions are mine to bear...that no matter how much others may want to bear them for me..they cant.....i have learnt that just when you feel most alone..the real friends show you how much they are a treasure....i have learnt that the stuff i have learnt about men...well its not all rubbish...yet there is still lots to learn...that despite my paranoia when it comes to them..i have managed to be really close friends with some of them,.,,,i have learnt stuff about me..that just amaze me..i am proud of the woman i am...just as i am sorry but not ashamed of some of the not so positive stuff i have done.....more than anything i am glad that i am NEVER PART OF THE CROWD......it has cost me to be true to myself even when i am wrong..but the rewards have been worth it...Most of all I KNOW THAT I know thats i know THAT God LOVES ME...I HAVE TESTED HIM AT THE MOST THIS YEAR AND PUSHED AS MANY BOUNDARIES AS I COULD...yet HE IS STILL FAITHFUL..no one will ever love ME LIKE THAT.....

OK THIS POST HAS GOTTEN LONGER THAN I EXPECTED bUT I AM GLAD I AM TURNING 25...UNLIKE SOME OF MY PEERS WHO FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AND OLD..I FEEL THAT THE BEST IS HERE TO BE SAVOURED...AND EVEN BETTER IS ON THE WAY...LIKER MY APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BY THE WAY I WANT A STUFFED ANIMAL....CANT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME ANYONE BOUGHT ME ONE..HIHIHIHI...For any typos.....a thousand apologies

THESE IMAGES AND QUOTES REALLY GOT TO ME.

I feel so awful that i have been awfully busy that i cannot even manage to blog. This is the first time in a month when i have managed to visit my blog.i am truly in a rat race. i leave work so late and so exhausted that sleep is the only thing my body can manage.
I have alot to blog about yet the time or energy is very scarce so i will post lyrics to a song by Tracy Chapman.THere is a week i listened to her every single day.i know insane. THE SONG IS CALLED CROSS ROADS. On 23rd of this month i turn 25 and tahts big yet there are so many things to decide and so many paths to follow with so many different consequences,
All you folks think you own my life
But you never made any sacrifice
Demons they are on my trail
I'm standing at the crossroads of the hell
I look to the left I look to the right
There're hands that grab me on every side


All you folks think I got my price
At which I'll sell all that is mine
You think money rules when all else fails
Go sell your soul and keep your shell
I'm trying to protect what I keep inside
All the reasons why I live my life



Some say the devil be a mystical thing
I say the devil he a walking man
He a fool he a liar conjurer and a thief
He try to tell you what you want
Try to tell you what you need


Standing at the point
The road it cross you down
What is at your back
Which way do you turn
Who will come to find you first
Your devils or your gods


All you folks think you run my life
Say I should be willing to compromise
I say all you demons go back to hell
I'll save my soul save myself

so sorry i keep meaning to blog but i get from work so bone tired that sleep is the only thought that can survive ...i got a new job which is a very good opportunity..something to do with global finance...sadly it also meant the end of my reign in unlimited cyberspace..so even its after work hours that i can spare some minutes to do this...
i am happy to have the job but being the new kid on the block is SOOOOOOOOOO NOTTTTTTTTT funny...i haven't felt like this in years...so unsure of myself or my place...i love the facilities..BUT I DON'T LIKE THE FLOOR WHERE I AM WORKING...I SIT NEXT TO THE MAIN MANAGERS...MEANING I HAVE TO BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR AT ALL TIMES..I PREFERRED THE UPPER FLOUR,...even the coffee was better there...anyhooooooooooooooo there is nothing much happening in my life other than waking up at 5am in the morning and sleeping at 10pm or 11pm...thew weekends have been good with nonstop partying....my goal was to at least make out with some hot dude...i tell you never make plans..coz Murphy's laws will conspire to ensure all your plans fail....sigh...but all in all i had a fab weekend which when i have time and strength i will blog about...this post was so totally without direction...more like an update.if there are any typos...bear with me..am bone tired

Dear Alice,

I'm a young woman (virgin, too) and I'm just wondering... exactly what am I supposed to do with pubic hair? Am I supposed to shave it all off, or do nothing, or I dunno, trim it? Do guys have preferences with trimmed and shaved or none? Help!


Hi Alice,

I was curious as how to groom the male crotch. I've never been taught how or if I'm at all supposed to do it. I wanted to know if there are any helpful hints if I do do it.


So anyhuuuuuu at some point I was like the first dear Alice girl and no one seemed to answer my questions as if talking about pubes is some crime against humanity. Urban Dictionary defines pubes

"Hair that grows near your 'danger area'! If you shave it gets itchy, and if you leave it there...it's itchy!

Trimming is your only option, but females should wax it."

Dude above looks like he as a perfect example of A WAX JOB GONE BAD....OR just men being scared cats

I have heard all the horror stories concerning bikini wax and I am the first to admit that my pain thresh hold is very low....my friend who is very brave said she cried real tears....it means i would bring the whole building down with my wailing and howling...but many swear by it so for the brave hearts carry on

Some people experiment with their pubes and as shown above trim them to whatever creative shape they like.....to me that's just weird but then again most things that I do can be categorized as weird. I am all for a trim but I don't really give it much thought other than finishing as quickly as possible and forgetting the whole incident.....to shape it....or as some do…colour it...my hair is a much better medium. soon we will hear of split ends on pubes





others its "au natural" as a friend once said I don't care if its a forest down there.....Most of my male friends are so vocal about the necessity of a woman shaving her pubes yet on their part there is a refusal to do the same...call me a feminist but if I am going to endure any discomfort for you...you better return the favor or all bets are off





One of my many friends said that they were told that a woman should only have hair on her head....wow....I so would disqualify from being a woman seeing as I don't shave my arms or legs...the hair is too inconsequential and biologically its there for a reason. It amazing but some guy once followed me for quite a distance on a busy street only to come and whisper to me that I should shave my legs. If you know me you would see obviously dude was deranged as you cant see hair on my legs as I am dark and any hair that is there is minute. Bushy pubes don't disgust me as much as armpits that give the Amazon a run for their money...I was unfortunate to see one on a friend and the trauma was too much...

The One of my very good friend once remarked rather caustically “who wants to eat MAU forest?" I really laughed though now the famous forest range is almost bare due to human activity...but as the image above illustrate I guess the guys can pay for it badly if your front lawn is unkempt
Alice did answer the questions and below is an extract of the pros and cons of the different methods of dealing with pubes.

Shaving

* Hair grows back within a few days
* May be uncomfortable and itchy as it grows back
* Hair may feel coarse when it grows back, because the hair shaft will have a blunt tip
* Possibility of cutting the skin, razor burn, and/or ingrown hairs
* Inexpensive
* Can be done at home

Waxing (commonly known as "bikini wax")

* Hair grows back after a few weeks
* Slight discomfort when the hair is being taken off
* Hair regrowth may feel thinner as it grows back
* Can be costly
* Can be done at home but may be easier to have it done professionally

Tweezing

* Hair grows back quickly
* Plucking is painful
* Can be used to remove a few stray hairs that may be bothersome but not recommended for the full job

Depilatories

* Product must say that it's safe to use on the pubic or bikini area
* Can test product in a small area and wait 24 hours to be sure that no reaction occurs
* Can cause irritation
* Inexpensive
* Can be done at home

I have so wanted to write on this for a while yet held back...had fun..so give me your take...your preferred 'front lawn' landing strip' or pube management method

wow its been so long...yet it seems i didn't suffer from withdrawal symptoms. Our net has been down hence mail is all i have been able to check seeing as am a job seeker of some sort.
I saw some research job which sounds interesting,pays really well(five zeros) and is with a good organization. I really want this job so bad that i have managed to freeze my want till today.Tomorrow is the deadline and i am working on my resume today. It took me much time to work on my CV while i was still in uni and most people say its among the best..but seeing as it has not landed me the jobs i want....OK to be fair it does get me to the interview skills...but i have decided to redo my whole resume,,,who knows..i even sought help from all sorts of quarters.I am the first to admit that my application letters have not been the best in fact its one of the things i hate writing but i got some tips and hopefully i will have superb letters.
I HATE government institutions in this stupid country....especially the bureaucracy involved...my mum works for the government and after seeing all the crap involved..i swore to myself that i would stay clear of it like the plague. Our company had two contracts with one of the government parastatol. I worked really hard in drafting and redrafting those contracts which kept being brought back for amendments and finally after two months they signed the contract and service was started in both the kitchen and laundry department...its time to pay for the first quarter and these stupid idiots don't want to pay with flimsy excuse after flimsy excuse..and when all else fails they fall on the all worn out excuse that they need a further explanation on how the contracts operates or the prices are too high.Imbeciles...they made us explain each and every phrase on that contract...add conditions etc and now suddenly they do not understand it...i don't know why a majority of people do not understand 5that a contract is executed the moment the parties sign and not whether payment has been made or not...i really admire my dad coz he has such patience with these morons or thick heads as he calls them...we discovered that what the people want particularly one fellow is to be bribed..something we refuse to do...we did superb work for them..why should we bribe you to pay us?i hate them i hate them..we really need the cash inflow is its a lot of money. i think that working for my dad these 6 or so months has really opened my eyes as to the reality of business...it really needs nerves of steel. Karl Marx said that for the bureaucrat the world is a mere object to be manipulated by him.

On another note my friend was so amused when we reminded her of what she was saying as regards only settling for guys who can make you come...i tell u the things you say when you are high.I went with a couple of Friends to OLEPOLOS....weirdly enough i have never graced this place...it was a nice drive though they made us wait for the meat for like hours..we were so famished..i felt really bad for the guys...seeing as men have such appetites,,,,they way dudes eat should be like some wonder of the world. My small brother who used to be begged to eat now devours food at a rate that leaves one wondering if its the last meal he is partaking.He is finally closing school and coming home this weekend i am sure my mother must be thrilled.

I keep losing my passion for work then regaining it..then losing it..its like some yo-yo game...its not funny.Yesterday i took the whole day off and just watched telly at home from morning till night.Bliss but now i am back...but i cant complain idleness is not my thing.

I was a t a party recently and we got talking about different things and the topic of flings came up...as more and more people talked i realized that we each have our definition of what a fling is...i wondered if it is possible to have a fling without having sex with the other person..shall we call them flingee?....and i would so love to hear from someone who has had a fling.Some of the feedback i got was that its a bad a idea to have a fling with a friend as it complicates stuff and may end up badly..but then again the question raised how do u let in a stranger....musings that's all let me get back to my resume redo.

let me keep this light seeing as i have been starting posts yet not finishing them. At a party last week one of my friends entertained us when she insisted that we should only be with men who can make us come...she may kill me on reading this but as i said fun times.Then came the question of whether we had ever been kissed till our knees buckled.In all honesty its only happened once. for me...most guys either are over eager as if my tonsils are some tasty morsel they cant wait to devour or others just a basic lack of technique or variation...it takes experience to know the right amount of pressure,ardor and opportunity..there are moments kisses should be light other times being a bit forceful would be nice...maybe not knee buckling but that kiss that u never forget and you keep hopping you will find well thats the one she was asking each of us,,,,lets see whether she will finish that very interesting tale when i see her again.

Yesterday on my way home some guy called in on some radio show.His beef was that he has a stalker who has refused to believe he is a man seeing as his voice is very soft...which it is but not that soft...so one of the presenters,asked him why was he picking up phone calls from numbers he dint know...but he said he was being nice and was just informing this guy that he had the wrong number but dude kept calling back with different numbers asking him out saying he was lying as he sounds like a lady...hilarious.So the other presenter who is a guy just told him that he should be rude and speak in a manly voice to this stalker...so he was asked to try...it was so hilarious..the guy is in his twenties and cannot sound manly or even offended...nway finally the presenter tells him that the best solution was for the soft spoken guy to take a naked picture of himself and send it by MMS to the stalker and that should convince him and stop the annoying calls....did i not laugh like a lunatic in that vehicle...madness i tell you

There is all this drama over the whole cremation debate in Kenya...i remember the first time i mentioned it to my mum and she acted like i was talking about some abominable thing...in fact her words were to the effect that even if i wrote in my will that i wanted to be cremated...no such thing would happen...i recall laughing at her vehemence...we are so attached to all the ceremony that attaches to burials yet forgetting how much such occasions are financially burdensome. So some big shot sports person died and the wife decided to cremate him in a stealthily manner such that the extended family heard about it after the actual deed.Apparently the guy had another wife who had boys while the first wife only had girls...i tell you..the man deserved whatever he had coming his way.In any case there was a whole hullabaloo but the deed was done..to me it was hilarious you should have heard the brother almost in tears on telly saying how his deceased brother was such an important person to be burnt like rubbish...i laughed when my dad was retelling that particular tit bit.The younger brother's only lament that if the couple had agreed to burn each other its none of their concern but at least they should have been given a chance to view the body...i never understand this fascination with dead bodies or death.Several of my friends have confessed that each year they take portrait photos as a reserve in case they die and there is no photo to be used...of all the morbid things to do...as i usually say...when i will be dead i will be dead..who cares what happens to my body or what photos are used??

On an unrelated issue on Sunday after church i stopped to greet some guy i hadn't seen in a while...i think i was being polite as one of my friends likes reminding me i am very anti-social i usually don't see the necessity of greetings as i think they are overrated.Nway i went to greet this guy with a handshake coz i know him in some undefined way...he was with his brother...dude decides to hug me ...i dint mind so i hugged him..only he would let go..so i am there talking to him while he is more less embracing me...i wasnt repelled as i usually am..but i was there like what up? Usually i dont like touchy feely people and people who feel invading your personal space is their God given right but i was more amused than anything.

I haven't done any exercise in months and i am scared of what i am doing to my body...but its awfully cold in the morning that nay thoughts of waking up to go jog is like sheer madness....i think i really need to buy a bike..but then these stories of kidnappings are not funny..though it does not stop us from partying till wee hours

so anyway i was home one of these evening when i was really tired and on radio there was some discussion about how ladies have such high standards when looking for guys or husbands etc

Enough of my pals, mostly the men, insist on the fact that i have expectations that are either too high or not realistic....
i honestly don't think so..i have dated several guys and they were not perfect nor do i presume to be perfect..but i refuse to settle for mediocre when i know am not mediocre and i believe that there are people out there who are good and would get me...plus i refuse all men are chauvinists.

One of the main contentions people have with me..is my stand that roles don't have to be defined by society.I firmly believe that its up to the two people in the relationship to define who does what and what is happening in their relationship.One of the most inane statement i keep hearing is"but everybody does it"or "everyone knows its always been like that"....its just plain stupid..people used to walk naked but it doesn't mean we have to. Then another stupid justification is that African MEN ARE LIKE THAT.....of all the silliest arguments..well if i find out they are all like that then i will try my luck elsewhere.I don't believe that a woman should do all the housework yet she has a career just like the man.

I also don't believe in taking working in progress men with the intention of improving them..i applaud women who have the time,energy and desire to do this...i do not..i think everyone has a choice whom they can date and if i don't like how you dress,smell,talk etc then i have no business dating you....
i don't believe in the perfect man theory..but as i said am not settling for less than i am worth.no apologies there

I seriously don't think its too much to ask for intelligent conversation...any other alternative will just lead to contempt and i doubt there are any men who want to be with a woman who looks down on them,,,and knowing me it would not be subtle.One of my childhood friends was intellectually challenged and almost everyone in our hood would wonder why we were friends.He was very good looking and knew how to dress and all yet upstairs there was just a big vacuum. I knew this but the reason we remained friends was that he chose to be my friend when everyone else looked down upon me as unworthy and uncool.So i learnt to adjust my thinking whenever i was with him. It become so natural that even today if i were to meet him its like an automatic shift in gears. Yet in all that i knew i could never date him....ever!!!..we could have fun laughs...talk music and stuff going down but i knew that in as much as he was my friend i looked down on him..as shaming as that is...back then he was like some hot guy everyone was after but i would wonder how he would keep all these girls some who were very smart...but as they say each to his own.

I cannot stand clowns.i like humour just like the next person but i cannot stand clowns and by that i mean those people who take humour to such levels you would equate them to monkeys.When humour is over the top it disgusts me. My sense of humour is more sarcastic and i get that not everyone has to get it but i cannot stand those people who have the potential to humiliate you yet excuse it all in the name of humour.My father whom i adore is very funny and they have laughs with my mum even after all these years of marriage and my pals who have met him can attest to how funny he is...yet i love the fact that it has a limit..i never have to sit in suspense wondering what will come of his mouth..whatever he will say will make us laugh and not embarrass us.Humour like all things has to have boundaries.The flip side being the genetically boring human being...waah where do i start...i believe i am fun and full of life so i do not see the need to tie myself down to someone who just robs me that very same essence of life instead of adding it.Having a personality and an interesting one at that is very important to me..i do appreciate that not everyone can be as loud as me...and THANK GOD for that...but being interesting is a choice.
I used to be of the school of thought that a man's education level did not matter even where i was more educated than him. Sadly it does matter...it may not matter to me...but sooner or later it brings issues as the man never lets you forget nor his family,his friends or your family.Several relationships have driven this point home so i have crossed over i am not dating a man less educated than me...i may be cool with it but the flak that follows is not worth it.I refuse to apologise for having an education.I don't think it defines me...but others choose to see me through those lenses and so i will adorn mine when associating with such.

On a correlated issue how much a man earns.I am still undecided on this one. I probably gave my friends grief in my philosophy that it doesn't matter i can live anywhere so long as i believe in the relationship.Two of my very good friends said this was bull and a shame that i cannot come from a comfortable environment and go to a hand to mouth situation.My friend Hadida says that better to cry in an expensive carpet than to cry in a cement floor.hahahaha this very cynical statement stems from the reasoning that even the best man will hurt you and make you cry so its up to you to choose which man will make you cry and what environment you will shed your precious tears.As i said am still divided on this

I probably have other pet peeves but for now do tell me your take...do you think its a lost cause to wait for the appropriate man/woman-hihihi.....and what are some of your non-negotiable qualities

its one of those days when doubt,sadness,depression,tears,fear,weariness and all their awful relatives outstay the welcome they never received in the first place

well all i can say tomorrow is another day..............hopefully peace,joy,laughter,energy and their lovely friends will pay me a visit...a rather long one

YAANI i am so swamped with work that i feel like i am committing a crime by posting something in my blog....but i have to....i have been working non-stop from 9am.
I am now in-charge of human resource for both two companies. I have to set up a performance appraisal system for both companies and implement it. I did learn about the system so its not the knowledge i lack...but rather its daunting task...and one that will make enemies for me....or at the very least cause resentment. my dad and the management consultant he works with feels i can do it...i can do it..i believe but i am still scared...at the thought of failure...or at how i have to have several discussions and training with each of the employees....more than that i ahve to evaluate them over a period of time...give an appraisal and suggest whether they retain tehir jobs,get rewards or lose their jobs and other disciplinary measures....its no small task...unlike before the two companies have grown...Philoke has eight technical staff, L&G has five laundry agents while there are five administrative staff. That may seem small.... but i have to train all these people...develop a system to evaluate them,mootivate them and basically determine their future with either of the companies...
I have started so that's a good thing...laying down the foundational work for the system is not too bad..though its really time consuming and requires me to understand the two companies with their operations....part of the reason for my getting this job was for the sake of continuity..i am one of its directors yet i do not have a comprehensive knowledge of every sector of operations..something which i feel will be remedied...i am glad its challenging me to stretch what i elarnt in my managemnt classes and apply them practically..furthomore itsa good experience as i will not only learn how to work with people but also lead people at the work place....still i pray that God will just give me grace..i am the kind of person who does not like being bossed nor do i like bossing peopel around...but like one of my pals said that a dream world....weird thingw e were just discussing taht with him..and taht very same day..i get the job...with my own office space...
Let me get back to work....the sad thing..i now cant just work the way i used to..keeping whatever hours...but ooh well..a challenge is good.aM OUT

I had a really lovely weekend....i really got time to spend with two of my girls..and i must say..its been too long..we had such a ball...in whether it was giggling over silly things..or arguing like co-wives over everything..or just enjoying each others company as we lazed away..i really had a wonderful time...it reminded me how much i value those two...i hear i missed another huge party..but i have no regrets

It also made me realize what i have been suspecting for awhile...my father cannot stand any talk about marriage..especially where he perceives any connection of that word with me..its really hilarious..he doesn't come out and say it...but any talk towards that direction has him so uncomfortable..its almost hilarious to watch..i almost want to reassure him...that he shouldn't worry..so....its not in the card soon...i find myself really missing one of my pals..lets call him..twox..he so will get....i havents een him in the longest time...and maybe i just need his perspective on some stuff cutting in my life..but i am busy and i know he is even more busy

i probably have no reason for writing but i did anyway..our church is getting a new youth pastor..i cant wait to meet him...my concern was whtehr he can speak English eloquently..and iw as assured he can..so i will wait when he is introduced to leadersto make my judgement...

People expect that friendships will make them feel good all time. When there is something about the friendship that invites complication, friends might start to wonder whether the friendship is a good idea. The truth is that if one expects a relationship to always be fun and lighthearted, he is missing the point of friendship. Everyone wants to hang around when there are good times to be had. The real test of friendship is being there when the going gets tough.

i got that from some site..apparently it is supposed to be poem..to me it doesn't sound like on..but i like what the person is saying....for some reason ever since i fell out with a particular pal of mine...a boy2men song lyrics has been playing in my head..

We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
Cause sayin' how we feel is no longer allowed

Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change

Chorus:
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby

Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart

Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away
The friend is a guy..and no the song want playing coz i am into him or anything..but rather..coz i kept thinking back to the fall outs and arguments we have ever had....and sometimes when i look back i cant for one figure out what we were arguing about...and i had my fair share of blame to carry..as i can be pretty unreasonable..yet we have remained friends,,,yet this last fight had me really shook...i wasn't admitting it..but at some point i wondered if this was the deal breaker...from another site i found this other poem..which also does not sound like a poem..but has sound advice
Fighting is part of every real relationship. The key is knowing how to resolve the conflict without breaking up the friendship. Often it is the individual who knows how to communicate by sharing his feelings and not pointing fingers who can diffuse the situation. Since both members of the friendship are feeling defensive, it becomes a risky and sensitive venture. It may talk a couple of tries to fully resolve your differences but you may come out with a stronger friendship at the other end.

It always been me who waits for the other person to take the first step....well this time i did....and all i can say..is that i am learning and i am growing...there can be no pride..or arrogance in friendship especially when the friendship is in dire straits

Preserving a friendship requires many skills. One of the most important of these is the ability to say "I'm sorry". We all make mistakes. Hurting each other from time to time is inevitable especially in a close friendship. Some people are incapable of apologizing, because they are unable to admit that they may have made a mistake. There is no way for a friendship to last without apologies. Saying I'm Sorry in a sincere and compassionate way will preserve your friendship and deepen the bond that your share.

My friend..you made apologizing so much easy..and it goes into the treasure box..where i keep reasons why you are an asset and a treasure....and i mean that in a pure and honest way...you challenge me to be a more mature person..a more reasonable person..a more compassionate person....and so i made a decision to believe you....there are things i have doubted which i am sure you have never even guessed.....yet i doubt some stuff about each and every person..it my nature....some of the stuff i have done are really absurd.....yet.....as i used to tell you....self preservation is the name of the game....i know that like many..you truly dint understand the extent to which that was wired into my psyche.i avoid pain at any cost and can go to any length...you once asked me why do i see our friendship as a sheep wolf relationship..i did not answer you..for you had nailed it...i read that yesterday..and i knew....i was wrong...we have had many fights and you are not blameless..yet on my part i have been too paranoid...the lyrics of Halleluya sand by Alexandra Burke says it best...there is stanza that says it best...

Well maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who’d out drew ya
And it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

yap to shoot..thats what i do..for if u dont the person who outdrew you will surely finish you...
but i realise..not everyone is shooting me..i dont have to be in  a duel with every single human being i encounter.so i lay down my weapons


a blog i frequent had a poem written by some girl..
whom either English is a beef or maybe its just a case of poetic licence
.nway she said it best....articulated what i longed to say..years back
I haf a wall u cannot see
Because its deep inside of me
It blocks my heart on every side
And helps emotions der to hide
You can't reach in, I can't reach out
You wonder wat it's all about.
The wall I built dat you can't see
Results from insecurity.
Each time my tender heart was hurt.
The scars within grew worse & worse
So stone by stone,
I built a wall
Dat's now so thick it will not fall.
I try so hard to break the wall,
But seem to get nowhere at all.
For stone upon each stone i've stacked,
And left between them not a crack.
The only way 
To make it fall, is imperfections in the wall.

....so this post is not just to one particular friend but rather to all but mostly to myself...to remind me that some friendships are worth gold...i am glad we both dint let that final straw break in a rope that was frayed to the last string.....to friendships.....the good times and the hard times....

Father God, I am truly thankful for my blessings. Yet it is quite another thing to be thankful in the hard times and with the unanswered questions of life. Thank You for understanding that it is not easy for me.
Thank You for showing me that when I can't be thankful for the hard stuff, You remind me just to be thankful IN it. For it is in that where Your character of faithfulness will be proven over and over to me. Thank You for the confidence that You will see me through. Help me to lean hard on Your strength, wisdom and care. Thank You that You will build a track record in my life through Your faithfulness. You enable me to be thankful in hard times because You are my God and You can be trusted with my life, even in the hard stuff! In Jesus' name I pray, amen.


am broken....that's what i am.....i am so down..i wonder if i will ever get up....its not even anger...more like i am resigned.....which is sad...i think i am just there..waiting....to see what each new day ill bring...either worse ,..or the same of what was there yesterday....it is hard to remember that chronos time is not the same time as kairos time..yet i torture myself...i wonder what lesson am i not learning..that i feel so stuck in this season

And still i rise......the higher you raise those walls the higher i will learn how to jump....i wont lie..i am disappointed...yet i cling on to faith...and the hope that my lot has always been in secure places...i was convinced that this time i did as expected...maybe i was wrong..yet this particular circumstance does not in any way reduce my value nor does it reduce my capability.....i do trust that much better is on the way...i just have to gird my self and take the next breathe,,,,,and still i rise

I got a regret from one of the big four...ironically it was at this same stage last year that i got a regret......yet i am proud of myself that i was able to go to the very same thing that had brought me down last year.i am proud of my performance and unlike last year i have no regrets of what i could have done.....rather than me not being good enough i think its more of the company not being the right fit for me..initially i did not want to even bother applying...but i made a promise to God that i would..and i did do my part....though in the past this particular company is known for sending regret letters then rescinding them later...all in the name of errors..i must say i am disappointed yet i know whom i have trusted and He is faithful.
Tomorrow i have an aptitude test with another of the big four....it will be an online test i have never done an online aptitude test yet i am at peace that whatever comes my way.....i will be able to triumph over it.

Friendships are uncanny.....if that's the appropriate word..and there are times when they acquire a life of their own...what is friendship.....i wonder..let me quote some definitions i found from various sources;

1. Friendship is co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.
2. Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy
3. In philosophical discussions of friendship, it is common to follow Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics, Book VIII) in distinguishing three kinds of friendship: friendships of pleasure, of utility, and of virtue. Although it is a bit unclear how to understand these distinctions, the basic idea seems to be that pleasure, utility, and virtue are the reasons we have in these various kinds of relationships for loving our friend. That is, I may love my friend because of the pleasure I get out of her, or because of the ways in which she is useful to me, or because I find her to have a virtuous character. Given the involvement of love in each case, all three kinds of friendship seem to involve a concern for your friend for his sake and not for your own.
4. Friendship is an in-depth relationship. Friendship is comfortable and relaxed. Friendship requires meeting the needs of both friends.
5. The first vital requisite for friendship is equality. There can be no master-slave element in true friendship. Male-female friendship is only possible when man and woman regard each other as completely equal. Each must be able to rejoice in the other's strengths and support the other's weaknesses with uncritical love - particularly when these strengths and weaknesses are the opposite way round to their society's gender stereotypes.
6. Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away.

I am really angry.......i have temper..but more often than not my anger dies away with the same quick speed with which it arrives...but there are moments when the anger is just inside me...gathering momentum...i have had fall-out with one of my friends...we are friends even if at this every precise moments i really want to forget that fact....it started with circumstances which i bear full responsibility..then a case of broken telephone or a lot miscommunication....it seem his integrity and mine is at question.integrity n. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
I think one of the hardest things is to know what you have said and done...and yet know that there is nothing you can do to convince the other person that you are saying the truth when from his point of view it seems as if you are....another thing that is bugging my brain is conflict resolution in friendship..two instances come to mind...the above whether my friend is Male and another where my friend is female...yet conflict resolution is necessary..for inevitable in life you will rub each other the wrong way...one way or another,,,,
In the past i have been all too eager to call it quits when friendships got too much..or it was too much conflicts...but as the years roll on..some of the best friendships i have had....are the ones i was willing to throw away...and so i find myself.....hesitant to just end friendships with the ease i used to..unless i have seen that they are toxic...so even though i am very angry...more so ...as i feel that some of the words spoken were uncalled for....i will not be hasty in ending a friendship that has been useful and real....and as i read maybe i am too focused on injury done to me...rather than seeing it from the other person's point of view....i do agree i have made my mistakes..yet as the excerpt below will show..in friendship there is understanding and there is that belief in the person's word

Perhaps it is only in friendship that people are capable of giving unconditional acceptance and love to another individual and this is the hallmark of true friendship. It means friends allow each other to be human and commit mistakes and learn from the mistakes. It also means that friends love each other in spite of the mistakes. This acceptance and love also means that friends talk to each other if they have any issues between them and that they treat each other with respect, dignity and kindness. They also give each other the benefit of doubt and try to understand the other person’s perspective. It is these aspects that allow friends to be friends in spite of disagreements and to work out issues and problems between them. Harsh criticism and judgmental attitude has no place in friendship.

AND SO I END THIS POST NOT KNOWING WHETHER OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL SURVIVE.....AND IN STATING THAT I AM NOT INSULTING YOU.....BUT RATHER STATING A POSSIBILITY....AND I DO KNOW THAT I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STATE AN OPINION....AND IF THE FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T SURVIVE...WELL WHILE IT LASTED IT WAS WORTH IT..AND IF IT DOES SURVIVE...ON MY PART I HAVE LEARNT HARSH LESSONS.