Over the weekend a friend asked me not o give up on her.....i hadnt gotten to the point of giving up on her but it broke my heart that she was at a point in her life she felt so much had gone wrong..that people would give up on her....usually with my pals i think i give them leeway that idont necessarily give other people.....yet i also realised that at some point some people take advantage of that..and so i developed a way of just cutting such people out in a clear way that i dont give them any thought...and this month i also said..i won mince words with anyone...even if they are friends..if i feel its crap i am being told or given i will say it as it is..i think i shocked one of my friends bu it was necessary...in alabastron we are told that if u have any expectations you communicate them...having uncommunicated expectation and then feeling disappointed or hurt when they are no met is stupid and a form of self sabotage....but with this friend i had not reached a point where the thought of even giving up on them..it had not even crossed my min..i can be very tenacious...but it made me sad nonetheless..for a moment i panicked..wat d i do...this person has sent out a cry for help..and we all do it in our own unique ways..others drink like mad..others withdraw..others lash out..all the while wondering why no one is answering they plea ...nway i said one of those quick prayers of God you are mighty to save..an i reached out....i havent done that in a long time...we are all so busy and so consumed with sorting our own lives..and i think rightly so...bu i am glad i did cz it uplifted my friend and it edified me.....
i wonder why i am writing..but nway maybe that is irrelevant.....i met bidali for a one on one on Wednesday after the funeral and it was interesting...it also made me realize i am not living on Mombasa road...the dust..is just too much....so i sat with ed u to and from nyeri..it was interesting a s we had so many debates on so many issues..i think some people got irritated..others ignored us while others were just amused by it all..at some point we caught up on how were were doing etc.it was nice actually...but also dangerous....that sounds dramatic but it is...some of his pals had sat behind us..while muthosh and foi sat in front of us...yet its like were in this cocoon..and it always gets like that with us...even in a crowd at some point its like th rest don't exist..and its not just me.....there is a day we were meeting to just hang out and edu said something which i later pondered on..he said we get along sow eel sometimes people ask him why we are not dating..i said yeah we do..but we also have the potential to kill each other....at that time he said we had both changed especially me...back when we met i was really the feminist crusader( I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE LABEL ME THAT)...and was all about having my way..i said i get that at times i was too defensive and aggressive and some of my opinions have changed bu inside i am still me...nway we changed the subject..then on the way back to nai...as were having our many debates..especially about the pregnancy and midlife crisis....he said i am still headstrong....so i said thats not fair...cz he is also very opinionated and stubborn...we are both choleric..then he laughed and said if we were to be left on an island we would kill each there..i agreed..i mean we both have such strong personalities.....he then said but he gives way in some stuff..especially back then...he said i used to be controlling..so i asked how...ati i would either control people or he situation..so i paused and said...ok there is some point..but i needed a particular example..he said our friendship is a perfect example..so i laughed and said ..ok to some point..then he said he compromised and gave in to some point while i dint.....which is true...i said i was actually surprised when he would back down....i knew back then i was not going to....sad to say..but true picture,..in fact we are still pals cz of him not me.....
nway it was getting uncomfortable..soi changed the subject...so another debate...a silly one where we wre mostly laughing..till someone commented how itsweird taht we talked from nai to nyeri..then resumed from nyeri and it seems all the way to nai..we lengad...at some point w started an agunment whcih we never agree on..about chics dressing and being stripped..i keep saying just coz a chic has dressed in amanner taht to you seems inappropriat it doesnt give ANYONE the right to strip her...edu insists she ought to know..and society has rules and you adhere to them..etc....we have been having this dbate for all the years we haveknown each other and no one ecer convinces te other..so in frustration edu says we are back to where i met you four years ago.......so a stare at him in shock(in mind am thinking that long?)...but i am also wondering what?so he says yous ee you always want to have your way...you want me to agree with you...tahts its your way or no waay..so i alugh and say..its bilaz..te same way you belive strongly tah youa re right is he same way i belive that i am right and i cannot change my min..but i am not tryng to change your mind.....so e looks at me like he doesnt belive what i am saying.... ...then he says i couldn't have changed that much....so i say we all grow up...nway so he asks me so have i learnt submission so i say to some extent...but it will always be a learning experience..and whichever guy i marry will have to realize that and be patient..so i ask him has he learn t to love sacrificially..he says its also a learning experience..at some point he says that...its weird but he feels that if he ever married me..i would never compromise on stuff especially stuff that mattes to him...so i say..the same way some stuff matter to him is the same way there are stuff which i feel strongly about....i said somethings i can compromise on and say for the sake of the relationship.. and coz it matters to this person let him have his way...so he says he feels the same way..then i ask him what if we fika an impasse where we both feel the issue is important to us then what?seeing as we are both stubborn...then he smiles in a secretive manner and says...thats where submission comes in.....so of course i hit him..then he says why all the violence..you have hit me like four times...i say its cz you are making me so frustrated or you bing out the worst in me..then he chekas and says thats a compliment...so i ask how?ati i still get to you.....so i roll my eyes and say in your dreams.....anyhu..when we were near nai...he asks me whether i will be picked or how am going home..so i say al jav from tao..and so he asks me why cant i alight at muthaiga..and i am confused like how?so he tells me just shuka at muthaiga..then chill for a mat then you ingia from evergreen....so i tell him that is bilaz first its far and i wont get a mat at that time...s he keeps insisting ati what about if i alight at muthaiga but use the other route walking..so i look at him..its too far..n mind am confused..then ia sk him how he is going..then he says he wants to alight at muthaiga..then get a jav..cz he lives on kiambu road...cz he feels too tired to go back to the office t get his car...so finally it hits me..he wants me to alight with him..we continue talking etc...and i am so proud of mys elf that i dint say yes..even when he asked me again ....there is a part of me that wanted to..we we see each other so rarely..yet when we do its a ball..but i also knew....boundaries are important...too soon we will be like we are going out..and thats how emotional affairs start..and i really like suzie..plus edu and i wouldnt want to do sth like that..but you never know..plus i feel like i am liking this to much....so when we fika pangani he says lets just g to town..coz its dark and all...so we went and parted ways....
i went home with my thoughts full of this guy till it scared me....got home ate and showered and in bed...so later i hear my phone..guess who?yap edu..so he asks if av fikad etc..so i say yap..infact am in bed sleeping...so he says that was fast..that he wanted us guys to vibe but we can vibe kesho..and i agree..i was so tired and sleepy....so the next day i wonder like what was that about we have talked for more than 5hrs...anyway i went to see bidali.i dint even pass through the office..we met from like 10am till 1pm...at some point i realised that i have to let go of edu.....not the stunt i tried a few years aback; ati dnt talk to me,dont email me,dont txt me...etc..it doesnt work as i realized..but the pedestal that i have placed him on.....it has to go..in my journal i wrote that its not even he reality of him that resides there rather the idea of him..the affirmation that i feel i need from him as a friend and as a man who find me attractive....it was hard admitting taht but alabastron teaches you to separate facts,from the story you have created for yourself and the belief system you have....and for each and every experience which has affected your life you do that..and in the future you learn to do that before it all piles up....
to some extent i do know edu..and i am not looking for a relationship with him or a rekindling of whatever we had....no..i know i dont want that nor is it possible..and i like suzie..and i know he loves her..as in really loves her..not like those chics he dated and dumped...he loves her..hat said and done....i use edu like a drug....thats what best describes it...in alabastron its mandatory you buy a journal...and we are encouraged to journal..not forced..but son you find yourself journaling...and that day i journaled in red...i remember that i wrote that i have made david and edu into some drug that i need..more so edu..i need to reach a point where i relate with them in a healthy manner..the expectations taht i ave of them, often uncommunicated are doing me harm.there is an affirmation AND APPRECIATION taht i get from tem that i feel i NEED.
i am at a stage that i seriously do not want a relationship..cannot even stand the idea of it...yet sometimes i miss having someone special in my life who thinks i am all that...so iw ant the perks without the sweat....its like there is a hole hey fill.....yet even if they were to ask me out..i would say no...even if i wouldn't immediately..i would eventually..s.o to what end is all these?
so the next day i started my day by just writing one line...I NEED TO LET GO OF EDU.....AGAIN!!!!.
its frustrating....when you convince yourself and resolve t do st that when all the distractions Come in and everything seems to be fighting you resolve...bidali says that human beings are the only species that aim at one goal then move in the opposite direction..all the while maintaining the expectation that they will attain their goal...its called self sabotage..am queen of it..in the past two days i have found all sorts of stupid silly reasons to talk to or text edu..when normally we go for a while without talking unless we chat online or panga to met after months of silence....
IT IS SO HARD......i am not in love with this guy..but letting go of the idea that there can ever be an us in the future or that we have this 'SPECIAL'.....its so hard....it makes me revert back to harmful things to just cover up...in the evening yesterday i was looking through face book and i saw the chic..i went to her page and looked at her photo..and i have always known she is pretty..but she looks EXTRA EXTRA HOT AND GLAMOROUS AND TONED.....it HURT to look at that picture..mind you..i like this chic..even then i dont hate her or want to be her..but it made me feel so INADEQUATE...SO UGLY.SO FAT,SO HORRIBLE.SO MESSED UP...even as i write this i realise how wack that sounds and its not a true picture of me....i was near tears and i was in a cyber....in my head i kept saying is is how this whole thing is messing me up..this stupid expectations..thats why i need to let go and get better..this is not healthy...and i had cash..i kept feeling this urge to just shop till i dropped..when i went to ngara..the hawkers werent here..so i said fine God you want to mess with retail therapy i have other drugs..i stopped at Vm and bought three books....in essence messing with my budget badly..atleast i dint buy those stupid historicals...but i spent like 25oo...a part of me felt guilty but another part of me just flt relieved i had something to fill the hole and not concentrate on how awful i was feeling..i knew what i was dong was wrong...in alabastron you hear how somebody was doing so well but soon you revert t the very same stuff you wanted to get away from..self sabotage...i
i dint even mean to write all these..but am glad i did...i havent even finished the books.....but i went to bed feeling so bad..i dint even sleep well..in he morning he guilt was eating me up..and the inadequacy..i couldnt even jog..thinking why bother...i started reading God;s word and it encouraged me..i get scared of the long road ahead knowing as paul said..in my inner being i delight in doing good..but the good want to do..i do not do..instead the evil i do not want to do.is what i do....But God keeps reminding me of the word he gave me fr this year..zeph3;17...the lord my God is with me,he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in me.he will quiet me with is love and rejoice over me with singing......thats just awesome....i dont deserve it..but then again grace is unmerited favour....i keep thinking why is it so hard..but then again.,,,,suffering produces perseverance....perseverance produces character..character hope..and hope does not disappoint us.....in any case....the finished product will be worth it..and in isa41..god says that he takes me by my right hand and says to me do not fear....he will help me himself.am out
nway it was getting uncomfortable..soi changed the subject...so another debate...a silly one where we wre mostly laughing..till someone commented how itsweird taht we talked from nai to nyeri..then resumed from nyeri and it seems all the way to nai..we lengad...at some point w started an agunment whcih we never agree on..about chics dressing and being stripped..i keep saying just coz a chic has dressed in amanner taht to you seems inappropriat it doesnt give ANYONE the right to strip her...edu insists she ought to know..and society has rules and you adhere to them..etc....we have been having this dbate for all the years we haveknown each other and no one ecer convinces te other..so in frustration edu says we are back to where i met you four years ago.......so a stare at him in shock(in mind am thinking that long?)...but i am also wondering what?so he says yous ee you always want to have your way...you want me to agree with you...tahts its your way or no waay..so i alugh and say..its bilaz..te same way you belive strongly tah youa re right is he same way i belive that i am right and i cannot change my min..but i am not tryng to change your mind.....so e looks at me like he doesnt belive what i am saying.... ...then he says i couldn't have changed that much....so i say we all grow up...nway so he asks me so have i learnt submission so i say to some extent...but it will always be a learning experience..and whichever guy i marry will have to realize that and be patient..so i ask him has he learn t to love sacrificially..he says its also a learning experience..at some point he says that...its weird but he feels that if he ever married me..i would never compromise on stuff especially stuff that mattes to him...so i say..the same way some stuff matter to him is the same way there are stuff which i feel strongly about....i said somethings i can compromise on and say for the sake of the relationship.. and coz it matters to this person let him have his way...so he says he feels the same way..then i ask him what if we fika an impasse where we both feel the issue is important to us then what?seeing as we are both stubborn...then he smiles in a secretive manner and says...thats where submission comes in.....so of course i hit him..then he says why all the violence..you have hit me like four times...i say its cz you are making me so frustrated or you bing out the worst in me..then he chekas and says thats a compliment...so i ask how?ati i still get to you.....so i roll my eyes and say in your dreams.....anyhu..when we were near nai...he asks me whether i will be picked or how am going home..so i say al jav from tao..and so he asks me why cant i alight at muthaiga..and i am confused like how?so he tells me just shuka at muthaiga..then chill for a mat then you ingia from evergreen....so i tell him that is bilaz first its far and i wont get a mat at that time...s he keeps insisting ati what about if i alight at muthaiga but use the other route walking..so i look at him..its too far..n mind am confused..then ia sk him how he is going..then he says he wants to alight at muthaiga..then get a jav..cz he lives on kiambu road...cz he feels too tired to go back to the office t get his car...so finally it hits me..he wants me to alight with him..we continue talking etc...and i am so proud of mys elf that i dint say yes..even when he asked me again ....there is a part of me that wanted to..we we see each other so rarely..yet when we do its a ball..but i also knew....boundaries are important...too soon we will be like we are going out..and thats how emotional affairs start..and i really like suzie..plus edu and i wouldnt want to do sth like that..but you never know..plus i feel like i am liking this to much....so when we fika pangani he says lets just g to town..coz its dark and all...so we went and parted ways....
i went home with my thoughts full of this guy till it scared me....got home ate and showered and in bed...so later i hear my phone..guess who?yap edu..so he asks if av fikad etc..so i say yap..infact am in bed sleeping...so he says that was fast..that he wanted us guys to vibe but we can vibe kesho..and i agree..i was so tired and sleepy....so the next day i wonder like what was that about we have talked for more than 5hrs...anyway i went to see bidali.i dint even pass through the office..we met from like 10am till 1pm...at some point i realised that i have to let go of edu.....not the stunt i tried a few years aback; ati dnt talk to me,dont email me,dont txt me...etc..it doesnt work as i realized..but the pedestal that i have placed him on.....it has to go..in my journal i wrote that its not even he reality of him that resides there rather the idea of him..the affirmation that i feel i need from him as a friend and as a man who find me attractive....it was hard admitting taht but alabastron teaches you to separate facts,from the story you have created for yourself and the belief system you have....and for each and every experience which has affected your life you do that..and in the future you learn to do that before it all piles up....
to some extent i do know edu..and i am not looking for a relationship with him or a rekindling of whatever we had....no..i know i dont want that nor is it possible..and i like suzie..and i know he loves her..as in really loves her..not like those chics he dated and dumped...he loves her..hat said and done....i use edu like a drug....thats what best describes it...in alabastron its mandatory you buy a journal...and we are encouraged to journal..not forced..but son you find yourself journaling...and that day i journaled in red...i remember that i wrote that i have made david and edu into some drug that i need..more so edu..i need to reach a point where i relate with them in a healthy manner..the expectations taht i ave of them, often uncommunicated are doing me harm.there is an affirmation AND APPRECIATION taht i get from tem that i feel i NEED.
i am at a stage that i seriously do not want a relationship..cannot even stand the idea of it...yet sometimes i miss having someone special in my life who thinks i am all that...so iw ant the perks without the sweat....its like there is a hole hey fill.....yet even if they were to ask me out..i would say no...even if i wouldn't immediately..i would eventually..s.o to what end is all these?
so the next day i started my day by just writing one line...I NEED TO LET GO OF EDU.....AGAIN!!!!.
its frustrating....when you convince yourself and resolve t do st that when all the distractions Come in and everything seems to be fighting you resolve...bidali says that human beings are the only species that aim at one goal then move in the opposite direction..all the while maintaining the expectation that they will attain their goal...its called self sabotage..am queen of it..in the past two days i have found all sorts of stupid silly reasons to talk to or text edu..when normally we go for a while without talking unless we chat online or panga to met after months of silence....
IT IS SO HARD......i am not in love with this guy..but letting go of the idea that there can ever be an us in the future or that we have this 'SPECIAL'.....its so hard....it makes me revert back to harmful things to just cover up...in the evening yesterday i was looking through face book and i saw the chic..i went to her page and looked at her photo..and i have always known she is pretty..but she looks EXTRA EXTRA HOT AND GLAMOROUS AND TONED.....it HURT to look at that picture..mind you..i like this chic..even then i dont hate her or want to be her..but it made me feel so INADEQUATE...SO UGLY.SO FAT,SO HORRIBLE.SO MESSED UP...even as i write this i realise how wack that sounds and its not a true picture of me....i was near tears and i was in a cyber....in my head i kept saying is is how this whole thing is messing me up..this stupid expectations..thats why i need to let go and get better..this is not healthy...and i had cash..i kept feeling this urge to just shop till i dropped..when i went to ngara..the hawkers werent here..so i said fine God you want to mess with retail therapy i have other drugs..i stopped at Vm and bought three books....in essence messing with my budget badly..atleast i dint buy those stupid historicals...but i spent like 25oo...a part of me felt guilty but another part of me just flt relieved i had something to fill the hole and not concentrate on how awful i was feeling..i knew what i was dong was wrong...in alabastron you hear how somebody was doing so well but soon you revert t the very same stuff you wanted to get away from..self sabotage...i
i dint even mean to write all these..but am glad i did...i havent even finished the books.....but i went to bed feeling so bad..i dint even sleep well..in he morning he guilt was eating me up..and the inadequacy..i couldnt even jog..thinking why bother...i started reading God;s word and it encouraged me..i get scared of the long road ahead knowing as paul said..in my inner being i delight in doing good..but the good want to do..i do not do..instead the evil i do not want to do.is what i do....But God keeps reminding me of the word he gave me fr this year..zeph3;17...the lord my God is with me,he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in me.he will quiet me with is love and rejoice over me with singing......thats just awesome....i dont deserve it..but then again grace is unmerited favour....i keep thinking why is it so hard..but then again.,,,,suffering produces perseverance....perseverance produces character..character hope..and hope does not disappoint us.....in any case....the finished product will be worth it..and in isa41..god says that he takes me by my right hand and says to me do not fear....he will help me himself.am out
YAANI LEO I HAVE HAD A FRUSTRATING MORNING WITH THE SCANNER AND WITH SOME OF THE STAFF HERE..I COULD PULL MY HAIR..BUT ITS GETTING BUT ITS GETTING BETTER..I HAD TO CANCEL A LUNCH DAT WITH DAVID...THE WORK LAD IS TOO MUCH AND SATO I HAVE ALABASTRON SO NO WORK FOR ME..I NEEDED T GET MY RENEWING SELF BOOK FROM LEAH..I LEFT IT IN EDWINA'S CAR IN WESTY AFTER BRUCE'S PARTY..YAANI ICANT BELIEVE I FIKAD HOME AT 4AM..BUT PAUL WAS NICE ENOUGH TO DROP ME HOME....I NEED A BREAK FROM LEO
Be low are some hilarious stuff i have read,heard or seen...my disclaimer is that i dint think them up but others did..so no causing
1.My pal who is flying out in 2weeks time....so i tell her i cannot date men with stained teeth..then she says...'brown teeth..people date such men??????? her expression was price less
2."I have a short leash for stupidity and redundancy. I can tolerate it for a minute, but after that, I snap. Don’t be dim around me."from some dude
3."I have never worn a pipe trouser... I just dont know how some dudes do it!!! Every part above the knee needs its breathing space... Especially the parts!!!"
4."I strongly believe that women are not from this planet... Apart from the obvious abnormal protrusions in their body, that i so love and crave 4 (what....? daddy needs some sugar), they have some major hormonal/ emotional imbalances that no man has ever understood!!! We even gave up... It's easier cramming engine parts, or calculus!!!!"....this one had me laughing so hard
5." I refer to my flatulence as " The Emancipaton of Mimi"
6".hey Tanya, how can u be afraid of heights and u always go ontop???? hehehe"
sato was a very full day for me.My folks traveled to shagz for a funeral so i was essentially home alone....went for alabastron with Shirley..the ride there was sth from a comic book...it was eight in the morning but the mat dint have fuel..i mean why did they bother picking us..at some point they were pushing the mat while we are inside...in my mind i was getting pissed as i had woken up an hour earlier...just to be early...Shirley was just laughing...after a while i just detached..when we on the highway we just felt enough is enough we boarded another mat..and arrived 3min late..but it hadn't started.There were new people so we did a recap and got started..i was an awesome day...i am glad Shirley came...in away with Shirley i have experienced so much more than with my other friends...she is my one pal i know i can live with comfortably case we get each other and never have any drama....for this week part of our assignment is to write a letter to our younger self..this for me will be a challenge..when i write...i am really open and its like am reliving that moment...i will do it..but a part of me is dreading it....
i later headed for Helen's & Moppa's wedding reception......it was interesting..especially seeing moppa being taught he lughya dances...later we went to paint the town red..i was arriving home at 3 in the morning....i thnk i will be following my pal's mum advice no wedding food...my tummy went on a revolt at 5am.....Sunday was a day spent home...recovering and lounging..at least Edu kept me company in the afternoon via phone..i have no idea why he was working on Sunday...we hit vibe.....he says i am on a downward trend..if i was out that late...he says he hopes i wont start justifying premarital sex..i laughed and said i wont. H e keeps saying how good rangers is.the place and the band on sato..i have to go there one of these days,,,,nway no more..gotta work
i later headed for Helen's & Moppa's wedding reception......it was interesting..especially seeing moppa being taught he lughya dances...later we went to paint the town red..i was arriving home at 3 in the morning....i thnk i will be following my pal's mum advice no wedding food...my tummy went on a revolt at 5am.....Sunday was a day spent home...recovering and lounging..at least Edu kept me company in the afternoon via phone..i have no idea why he was working on Sunday...we hit vibe.....he says i am on a downward trend..if i was out that late...he says he hopes i wont start justifying premarital sex..i laughed and said i wont. H e keeps saying how good rangers is.the place and the band on sato..i have to go there one of these days,,,,nway no more..gotta work
I am currently feeling...
1.dresses....all kinds....sundresses...eveening dresses..frocks....
2.strictly come dancing...its made want to learn latin dances and ballroom dances....and i will do it.
3.wedding planning...in theory...one too many of my friends are talking of upcoming nuptials hence as we discuss colour schemes,reception designs etc...I am enjoying planning THEIR wedding while all the while contemplating eloping.
4.David..weird as it may seem i look forward to our talks though as expected there are stuff he says that just remind how different we are....he bought be a silver bracelet...which is worth approx 3k to 4k...am still processing that.....i am not a jewellery expert so when he gave it to me...i just thought how sweet...a friend told me its worth the other day..and am still wondering..WHAT?
5.The friends that i currently have.....when all the chaff and dross has been removed....its golden quality thats left.I like the level of maturity we have attained as friends
6. My family..i like the way we have evolved and how we are supporting each other..more than that i like who my father is..especially the relationship he has with my brothers.....and that we are all involved in his business.
7.My attitude..as in i am so at peace with where am at..that sometimes it leaves me speechless..i dont ahve any frantic need to be in a relationship.i want a good job but i am at peace trusting God that an awesome one is on the way.....i am comfortable in my own company yet still comfortably balancing that with my other relationships.
8.The break i am taking from the manic reading i was doing last year.
9.New African magazine....no matter how broke i am..i try to get a copy..i love it....its informative...intellectual..fun....yet diverse in its topic
10.Word games on facebook
1.dresses....all kinds....sundresses...eveening dresses..frocks....
2.strictly come dancing...its made want to learn latin dances and ballroom dances....and i will do it.
3.wedding planning...in theory...one too many of my friends are talking of upcoming nuptials hence as we discuss colour schemes,reception designs etc...I am enjoying planning THEIR wedding while all the while contemplating eloping.
4.David..weird as it may seem i look forward to our talks though as expected there are stuff he says that just remind how different we are....he bought be a silver bracelet...which is worth approx 3k to 4k...am still processing that.....i am not a jewellery expert so when he gave it to me...i just thought how sweet...a friend told me its worth the other day..and am still wondering..WHAT?
5.The friends that i currently have.....when all the chaff and dross has been removed....its golden quality thats left.I like the level of maturity we have attained as friends
6. My family..i like the way we have evolved and how we are supporting each other..more than that i like who my father is..especially the relationship he has with my brothers.....and that we are all involved in his business.
7.My attitude..as in i am so at peace with where am at..that sometimes it leaves me speechless..i dont ahve any frantic need to be in a relationship.i want a good job but i am at peace trusting God that an awesome one is on the way.....i am comfortable in my own company yet still comfortably balancing that with my other relationships.
8.The break i am taking from the manic reading i was doing last year.
9.New African magazine....no matter how broke i am..i try to get a copy..i love it....its informative...intellectual..fun....yet diverse in its topic
10.Word games on facebook
A very good friend of mine told me about a network for ladies. Since matters to do with women pull at my heart strings....i inquired more...and that is how on a Saturday morning i was trudging along Mombasa road going for the first meeting.It is called ALABASTRON. I was wearing avery short skirt though with leggings...nonetheless..on the way it raised a few eyebrows...I must have been on a defensive mood as i wore the clad as a test of these women whom i had not even met..if they were going to judge me..let me give them some ammunition then it lets me know what kind of people i am dealing with....grossly unfair in hindsight....I almost dint continue but i made myself join them... i was late but they hadnt started...it was a mixed group of college/ university age ladies, working ladies,married,engaged,mothers etc..we were about 15in total including the facilitators.
The one thing was that there was no judgement,,,i really give them kudos for tha..i had an awesome time and soon was able to relax....contribute and laugh alot. There is a chic who sat near me called Njeri..i really like..i dont know why....I dint write this post to write about what happens in Alabastron but just some impressions....what happens in Alabastron stays there. especially the nitty gritty detail.. I am excited to be there and i really feel that this year i am walking in God's will..as in events are just happening to align me where God wants me...for this year God gave me His word from Zephaniah 3:15-20...as were were concluding the session Laimani gave us that a verse from there Zeph3:17..for me it was the final confirmation that i was where i was supposed to be.
I like the fact that there is such diversity in the group and even more people are joining. there are people there ho have probably never been saved. YET each and every person is willling to participate,share,learn and be empowered to empower another person.I am yet to buy the journal we are all to keep. I have journaled once this year; this should prove interesting.
I pestered all the gals in my fellowship to join....though Scar will join the next one coz of the timing but mo and shirley will join me on the next class.On that note we had the best bs this sunday...as in am happy with this group..no stupid games about how each person an say the least while waiting to see how much the rest will say...we are doing a book by pam Farrel one of my favourite authors...A WOMAN OF INFLUENCE......Last week discovered our leadership styles