Divine creativity equals unusual me

Today is a good day and the week started well. I saw a petroleum job advert that may be a good fit for me.  I applied for it and it just gave me a positive energy. I levelled with this guy who initially I thought could be a prospect. I am just not that attracted to him to overlook these irritating things he keeps doing. We were to meet after my exams but I just can't stand it any more. I was very polite and respectful. I  don't think it has really hit him but I feel relieved. The are two songs from Rebecca Ferguson whose lyrics just caught my attention even as I was reading for my paper: Fighting suspicions and Wonderful world

1. Fighting Suspicions

Isn’t it amazing what a lonely heart will have you do
Just when you think you’re getting wiser
Somebody comes along, and you’re stuck like glue
Isn’t it amazing what a lonely heart will have you do

He lays my flaws before me
He says I’m blind I can’t see
He makes me feel unworthy
Shapes the rules, I’m a fool if I take the lead

But tell me someone who never lied to themselves
Who never ran through hell, just to find love
Just to hold love
And it wasn’t enough, it’s amazing
So amazing

Fighting suspicions, lady's intuitions
Why, I don’t need it, 'cause it’s not what I want to hear
So I put you on my altar, crown you like a sultan
And praise you for every lie that drips from your lips

Fighting suspicions, lady's intuitions
Why, I don’t need it, no it’s not what I want to hear
So I put you on my altar, crown you like a sultan
And praise you for every lie that drips from your lips

What would you do, what would you do?
What would you do?
Wasn’t enough, it’s amazing
So amazing,

Fighting suspicions, lady's intuitions
Why, I don’t need it, 'cause it’s not what I want to hear
So I put you on my altar, crown you like a sultan
And praise you for every lie that drips from your lips

And he pulls you down, he pulls you down

Isn’t it amazing what a lonely heart will have you do
Just when you think you’re getting wiser
Somebody comes along and you’re stuck like glue
Isn’t it amazing what my lonely heart will have me do.

2. Wonderful Life

(Verse)
I act like it’s not cold, it’s warm
Take back my curtains that have been drawn
Pretend all my bills have been paid
They’ve been okay for days

(Verse)
I smile through the door
Don’t worry about any storm
Not everyone will love me
But I’m not scared to try

(Chorus)
And I dream of a better life
And I’ll find what makes me smile
I’m not there but give me time
Let me say that, let it float through my hurt
Found a good worth day and I’m digging through my dirt
And I’m watching as the colors light the earth
Thinkin what a wonderful world
Yea, thinkin what a wonderful world

(Verse)
Scrape off my head, I don’t mess it
Black mascara from my eyes
Put on my brave face
The kind that tells I’m alright

(Verse)
I laugh when they’re not near
‘Cause I know the truth
Not everyone will love me
But I’m not scared to try

(Chorus x2)
‘Cause I dream of a better life
And I’ll find what makes me smile
I’m not there but give me time
Let me say that, let it float through my hurt
Found a good worth day and I’m digging through my dirt
And I’m watching as the colors light the earth
Thinkin what a wonderful world
Yea, thinkin what a wonderful world

I’m in a wonderful world

I have just come from one of the toughest but most interesting interviews I've ever had. As my pal said, I finally met my match in someone cynical, smart and good at deflecting questions while reading me in an eerie manner. Yet I also discovered I'm ok with the choices I've made. Last week I was so depressed at the outlook of my life but as that guy grilled me and I was defending my choices to do law yet not practice, do a professional course in accounting, do banking then quit, start fashion and now back trying to get back to the corporate world, I realized that I do stand by my choices and in as much as most people would see it as unfocused and not knowing what I want to do with my life. I don't. I simply don't. When I finished high school I did not know what I wanted to do but now I do. I may not have the resources to do it now but I'm clear and I stand my choice that life is not just one path. We are multi-talented and hence our interests should not be limited to one path just because it allows others to be comfortable. So what others call unfocused, I call open minded and adventurous. Does it mean each and every time I take a risk I will get a return. Certainly not but it's certainly worth it. That interview gave me back my mojo. That and the conversation I had with my mother. Needless to say, I'm ready for the next round of interviews. It is well with my soul

well i applied for a job in Ghana..and when i did it was almost by mistake as i was applying for a job in one of the partner companies in Kenya..but my application ended up in the Ghana office....i dint think much about..yet it came to my attention that as a consequence of that i missed the Nairobi job....lets just say i was in the dumps for days then i picked myself up and thought there could be a silver lining in this...so after that i begun to give the Ghana job some thought but not much as i was also waiting on some other offers...in the financial market especially in Kenya there are the BIG FOUR firms....of which one i was out coz of misapplying while the other one was not taking in people that left two..i applied in the two..of the two i was ambivalent about one as i had applied last year..only to drop out at one of its long interview stages........
THE BEEF WITH THE BIG FOUR THEY HAVE THESE LONG INTERVIEW PROCESSES AND SOMEHOW THEY COINCIDE SO THAT YOU MAY LEAVE ONE ONLY TO FAIL IN THE ONE YOU WERE PLACING YOUR HOPES IN..WHAT A QUAGMIRE...BUT ANYHUUU..SOMEHOW THERE IS A DAY I WOKE UP AND THOUGHT WHAT...Ghana...AWAY FROM HOME..LEAVING ALONE..MEETING DIFFERENT PEOPLE..EXPERIENCING NEW THINGS...EVEN IF HARDSHIPS..BUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND EXCITING..HAVING TO GROW UP AND GET OUT MY COMFORT ZONE...MAYBE FLIRTING WITH NEW MEN...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH meeting the moocha boys.....any way as you can see..i really got carried away..but finally iw as excited about this opportunity that God brought my way..even if to just get me excited again..as i had become more or less resigned by now....
I finally told my family that there is a possibility of me going to Ghana if the application went well..my mum was excited as the firm is a really good one...weird coz my mum is the type to want all her children in her nest till kingdom come..she said so herself..as if...my dad who is the easy gong one..whom has accepted the fact that you bring up kids to leave the nest was really reserved..he dint say anything negative..it was in his demeanor and each time he would change the subject...i am much closer to my dad than my mum..but that reaction just threw me...anyhuuu nothing can dampen my excitement...
I really want this job...i have moved from a platform of indifference to passionate longing.....MAYBE I AM A BIT NAIVE but i think it is a good opportunity and i would survive as my dad says i am a survivor....so my mum and i have been on a frenzy to get a passport and all my documents in order.....someone would think the contract has already been signed and sealed...yet i believe that faith works best when you give it your all so that when the deals fall through you have no regrets about having failed to do whatever you needed to do......
This year at some point i started going on some downward spiral.....honestly..some things i did for fun..others just to test limits and boundaries.....while i have not suffered physical consequences..i have paid some spiritual and emotional price.....i think part of that was just a loss of hope..in things getting better...i think i also lost some faith..in myself,in life and in God to a certain extent especially in regards to achieving my goals....there is a large part of me that has become so cynical about life and relationships.....yet there is day i said one of those honest prayers..that are often short yet to the point....and the next day i received some positive news from one of the big four's that i had applied to way back..i thought they had forgotten about it..or just dismissed my application....i get to do the first interview process next month..but it encouraged me..and just reminded me of how much God never forgets..even when i lose hope..and think He has abandoned me..even when i do stuff..to push him away..He is still faithful,,,i have no idea where my life is going nor where i will be this time next year..yet i am right now at a place where i am hopeful again..where i begin to see that in him all things hold together...while away from him anarchy governs and chaos rules
when i started this post it was to be a short post and mainly about Ghana....i realize i am very ignorant about other African Countries....or i have become..this is me who believes Americans are the most ignorant people when it comes to other countries in the world....i decided to do a little research about Ghana..seeing as i may live and work there....i know getting ahead of myself..but hey..and its interesting the stuff i learn..it doesn't deter me rather it makes me even more determined to get this job..my only fear is that i may get offers from the other two firms before hearing from them...Ghana is obviously my first choice then the firm that am doing the aptitude next month..of the four the rest rank it the least powerful but i prefer it to the one that rejected me last year..for obvious reasons..but God knows....so if you Accra features more than usual in this blog..well now you know/.....

Creative freelance writing is a combination of creative writing and freelance writing. You can explore other themes and genres, but still earn a paycheck. Examples include submitting short stories to paying markets, or procuring grants and residencies to cover costs while you exercise your creative muscles. There's really no limit. You're using your creativity, and your writing skills, but you're still freelancing, in that you're continuing to earn a living through many different kinds of projects.

I think yesterday was a wakeup call..went for the KPMG fair..and it was just depressing. None the less it also made me review my options. I left there so tired and weary of body,mind and soul. Today i woke up and realized that i have never been a person who waits for things to happen to them..i am a go getter .in any case if you wait for things to happen to you,usually its not the good that happens but the dreaded.

I took inventory of what skills and abilities i posses and i realized that i am a good researcher and its one skill i have not utilized since leaving school. I am convinced that with due diligence i can use that particular skill to earn some money.I don't want it as a full time job but rather as a part time job.when i was doing my section six one of my lecturers informed me of this scheme where someone pays you to do research for them on a particular subject e.g for their masters and they pay you.I think i should look for his number and contact him and maybe even advertise on face book i mean there are several lazy or extremely busy people out there. There are also companies that could need some sporadic research.

As for writing, thats the contentious one..when i am bothered i can write some decent stuff using correct grammar but more often than not i am not bothered..i am not from the school that is full of tortured souls who feel THEY MUST WRITE....if i write well and good if i don't life goes on..yet its probably a skill i am wasting.When i was in High school i used to do a lot of writing which sadly i threw away in a fit of rage..nonetheless I was more disciplined and i probably cared more about writing then...for now what i care about is how much money can writing earn me with the least amount of discomfort on my part. I for one am not disillusioned as to my writing capabilities yet i know i can entertain, i can be insightful and i can be very informative....yet all these will come at a cost..everything costs something and i guess the first is my current style of writing which disobeys all grammar rules that there can be..nonetheless i am currently researching on creative freelance writing as long as it pays be it online journals or getting a feature to write regularly..its not fame or recognition i seek..just some money.I am sure the criticism will be thorough but nonetheless it has never stopped me before.

A third option which indeed pains me is in regards to fashion.I have a passion for fashion and i feel i can contribute something to it especially in the Kenyan market while earning a buck from it. This would be where my passion would be realised to work in fashion but from a business perspective would utilize my innate sense of style and my business knowledge learnt in school.Last year two of my friends who are also fashionistas welcomed the idea of starting a business in the fashion industry.We talked about how whatever we were to do had to be a unique thing meeting a market demand that is not being met currently we identified some ideas and some ways of implementation and some possible sources of capital but did not do anything about it nor was anything written down.This year we all had our own plans but i feel we cant wait to attain the jobs we are seeking then decide its time to implement our dreams. In fact the more i think about it the more i realize that it would be even more challenging and a sit is with the credit crunch jobs are not availing themselves so the smart thing is create our own opportunities. So that is what will be occupying me. I really wanted to attend FAFA 2009( Festival of African Fashion and ART) BUT the cost was too much..it would have been a great opportunity to meet some of Africa's top fashion women and men.In any case i will personally find some and get a mentor.I am determined that i will accomplish the goals that i have set.By end of MAY we must have drawn an excellent full proof business plan.

I feel energized and rejuvenated now that i have identified the three key areas i need to work on and at the thought of having laid out goals i feel a surge of energy and excitement running through me and i guess a burst of hope that just reassures me that in spite of the fact that some aspects of my life are so out of control at least in some i have something to say about it.

FAITH IS ACTIVE BELIEF. the Israelites had to take the first step into Jordan before the water was parted and so it follows that the same applies in my life...