People expect that friendships will make them feel good all time. When there is something about the friendship that invites complication, friends might start to wonder whether the friendship is a good idea. The truth is that if one expects a relationship to always be fun and lighthearted, he is missing the point of friendship. Everyone wants to hang around when there are good times to be had. The real test of friendship is being there when the going gets tough.

i got that from some site..apparently it is supposed to be poem..to me it doesn't sound like on..but i like what the person is saying....for some reason ever since i fell out with a particular pal of mine...a boy2men song lyrics has been playing in my head..

We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
Cause sayin' how we feel is no longer allowed

Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change

Chorus:
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby

Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart

Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away
The friend is a guy..and no the song want playing coz i am into him or anything..but rather..coz i kept thinking back to the fall outs and arguments we have ever had....and sometimes when i look back i cant for one figure out what we were arguing about...and i had my fair share of blame to carry..as i can be pretty unreasonable..yet we have remained friends,,,yet this last fight had me really shook...i wasn't admitting it..but at some point i wondered if this was the deal breaker...from another site i found this other poem..which also does not sound like a poem..but has sound advice
Fighting is part of every real relationship. The key is knowing how to resolve the conflict without breaking up the friendship. Often it is the individual who knows how to communicate by sharing his feelings and not pointing fingers who can diffuse the situation. Since both members of the friendship are feeling defensive, it becomes a risky and sensitive venture. It may talk a couple of tries to fully resolve your differences but you may come out with a stronger friendship at the other end.

It always been me who waits for the other person to take the first step....well this time i did....and all i can say..is that i am learning and i am growing...there can be no pride..or arrogance in friendship especially when the friendship is in dire straits

Preserving a friendship requires many skills. One of the most important of these is the ability to say "I'm sorry". We all make mistakes. Hurting each other from time to time is inevitable especially in a close friendship. Some people are incapable of apologizing, because they are unable to admit that they may have made a mistake. There is no way for a friendship to last without apologies. Saying I'm Sorry in a sincere and compassionate way will preserve your friendship and deepen the bond that your share.

My friend..you made apologizing so much easy..and it goes into the treasure box..where i keep reasons why you are an asset and a treasure....and i mean that in a pure and honest way...you challenge me to be a more mature person..a more reasonable person..a more compassionate person....and so i made a decision to believe you....there are things i have doubted which i am sure you have never even guessed.....yet i doubt some stuff about each and every person..it my nature....some of the stuff i have done are really absurd.....yet.....as i used to tell you....self preservation is the name of the game....i know that like many..you truly dint understand the extent to which that was wired into my psyche.i avoid pain at any cost and can go to any length...you once asked me why do i see our friendship as a sheep wolf relationship..i did not answer you..for you had nailed it...i read that yesterday..and i knew....i was wrong...we have had many fights and you are not blameless..yet on my part i have been too paranoid...the lyrics of Halleluya sand by Alexandra Burke says it best...there is stanza that says it best...

Well maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who’d out drew ya
And it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

yap to shoot..thats what i do..for if u dont the person who outdrew you will surely finish you...
but i realise..not everyone is shooting me..i dont have to be in  a duel with every single human being i encounter.so i lay down my weapons


a blog i frequent had a poem written by some girl..
whom either English is a beef or maybe its just a case of poetic licence
.nway she said it best....articulated what i longed to say..years back
I haf a wall u cannot see
Because its deep inside of me
It blocks my heart on every side
And helps emotions der to hide
You can't reach in, I can't reach out
You wonder wat it's all about.
The wall I built dat you can't see
Results from insecurity.
Each time my tender heart was hurt.
The scars within grew worse & worse
So stone by stone,
I built a wall
Dat's now so thick it will not fall.
I try so hard to break the wall,
But seem to get nowhere at all.
For stone upon each stone i've stacked,
And left between them not a crack.
The only way 
To make it fall, is imperfections in the wall.

....so this post is not just to one particular friend but rather to all but mostly to myself...to remind me that some friendships are worth gold...i am glad we both dint let that final straw break in a rope that was frayed to the last string.....to friendships.....the good times and the hard times....