And still i rise......the higher you raise those walls the higher i will learn how to jump....i wont lie..i am disappointed...yet i cling on to faith...and the hope that my lot has always been in secure places...i was convinced that this time i did as expected...maybe i was wrong..yet this particular circumstance does not in any way reduce my value nor does it reduce my capability.....i do trust that much better is on the way...i just have to gird my self and take the next breathe,,,,,and still i rise

I got a regret from one of the big four...ironically it was at this same stage last year that i got a regret......yet i am proud of myself that i was able to go to the very same thing that had brought me down last year.i am proud of my performance and unlike last year i have no regrets of what i could have done.....rather than me not being good enough i think its more of the company not being the right fit for me..initially i did not want to even bother applying...but i made a promise to God that i would..and i did do my part....though in the past this particular company is known for sending regret letters then rescinding them later...all in the name of errors..i must say i am disappointed yet i know whom i have trusted and He is faithful.
Tomorrow i have an aptitude test with another of the big four....it will be an online test i have never done an online aptitude test yet i am at peace that whatever comes my way.....i will be able to triumph over it.

Friendships are uncanny.....if that's the appropriate word..and there are times when they acquire a life of their own...what is friendship.....i wonder..let me quote some definitions i found from various sources;

1. Friendship is co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.
2. Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy
3. In philosophical discussions of friendship, it is common to follow Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics, Book VIII) in distinguishing three kinds of friendship: friendships of pleasure, of utility, and of virtue. Although it is a bit unclear how to understand these distinctions, the basic idea seems to be that pleasure, utility, and virtue are the reasons we have in these various kinds of relationships for loving our friend. That is, I may love my friend because of the pleasure I get out of her, or because of the ways in which she is useful to me, or because I find her to have a virtuous character. Given the involvement of love in each case, all three kinds of friendship seem to involve a concern for your friend for his sake and not for your own.
4. Friendship is an in-depth relationship. Friendship is comfortable and relaxed. Friendship requires meeting the needs of both friends.
5. The first vital requisite for friendship is equality. There can be no master-slave element in true friendship. Male-female friendship is only possible when man and woman regard each other as completely equal. Each must be able to rejoice in the other's strengths and support the other's weaknesses with uncritical love - particularly when these strengths and weaknesses are the opposite way round to their society's gender stereotypes.
6. Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away.

I am really angry.......i have temper..but more often than not my anger dies away with the same quick speed with which it arrives...but there are moments when the anger is just inside me...gathering momentum...i have had fall-out with one of my friends...we are friends even if at this every precise moments i really want to forget that fact....it started with circumstances which i bear full responsibility..then a case of broken telephone or a lot miscommunication....it seem his integrity and mine is at question.integrity n. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
I think one of the hardest things is to know what you have said and done...and yet know that there is nothing you can do to convince the other person that you are saying the truth when from his point of view it seems as if you are....another thing that is bugging my brain is conflict resolution in friendship..two instances come to mind...the above whether my friend is Male and another where my friend is female...yet conflict resolution is necessary..for inevitable in life you will rub each other the wrong way...one way or another,,,,
In the past i have been all too eager to call it quits when friendships got too much..or it was too much conflicts...but as the years roll on..some of the best friendships i have had....are the ones i was willing to throw away...and so i find myself.....hesitant to just end friendships with the ease i used to..unless i have seen that they are toxic...so even though i am very angry...more so ...as i feel that some of the words spoken were uncalled for....i will not be hasty in ending a friendship that has been useful and real....and as i read maybe i am too focused on injury done to me...rather than seeing it from the other person's point of view....i do agree i have made my mistakes..yet as the excerpt below will show..in friendship there is understanding and there is that belief in the person's word

Perhaps it is only in friendship that people are capable of giving unconditional acceptance and love to another individual and this is the hallmark of true friendship. It means friends allow each other to be human and commit mistakes and learn from the mistakes. It also means that friends love each other in spite of the mistakes. This acceptance and love also means that friends talk to each other if they have any issues between them and that they treat each other with respect, dignity and kindness. They also give each other the benefit of doubt and try to understand the other person’s perspective. It is these aspects that allow friends to be friends in spite of disagreements and to work out issues and problems between them. Harsh criticism and judgmental attitude has no place in friendship.

AND SO I END THIS POST NOT KNOWING WHETHER OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL SURVIVE.....AND IN STATING THAT I AM NOT INSULTING YOU.....BUT RATHER STATING A POSSIBILITY....AND I DO KNOW THAT I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STATE AN OPINION....AND IF THE FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T SURVIVE...WELL WHILE IT LASTED IT WAS WORTH IT..AND IF IT DOES SURVIVE...ON MY PART I HAVE LEARNT HARSH LESSONS.