Divine creativity equals unusual me

Today is a good day and the week started well. I saw a petroleum job advert that may be a good fit for me.  I applied for it and it just gave me a positive energy. I levelled with this guy who initially I thought could be a prospect. I am just not that attracted to him to overlook these irritating things he keeps doing. We were to meet after my exams but I just can't stand it any more. I was very polite and respectful. I  don't think it has really hit him but I feel relieved. The are two songs from Rebecca Ferguson whose lyrics just caught my attention even as I was reading for my paper: Fighting suspicions and Wonderful world

1. Fighting Suspicions

Isn’t it amazing what a lonely heart will have you do
Just when you think you’re getting wiser
Somebody comes along, and you’re stuck like glue
Isn’t it amazing what a lonely heart will have you do

He lays my flaws before me
He says I’m blind I can’t see
He makes me feel unworthy
Shapes the rules, I’m a fool if I take the lead

But tell me someone who never lied to themselves
Who never ran through hell, just to find love
Just to hold love
And it wasn’t enough, it’s amazing
So amazing

Fighting suspicions, lady's intuitions
Why, I don’t need it, 'cause it’s not what I want to hear
So I put you on my altar, crown you like a sultan
And praise you for every lie that drips from your lips

Fighting suspicions, lady's intuitions
Why, I don’t need it, no it’s not what I want to hear
So I put you on my altar, crown you like a sultan
And praise you for every lie that drips from your lips

What would you do, what would you do?
What would you do?
Wasn’t enough, it’s amazing
So amazing,

Fighting suspicions, lady's intuitions
Why, I don’t need it, 'cause it’s not what I want to hear
So I put you on my altar, crown you like a sultan
And praise you for every lie that drips from your lips

And he pulls you down, he pulls you down

Isn’t it amazing what a lonely heart will have you do
Just when you think you’re getting wiser
Somebody comes along and you’re stuck like glue
Isn’t it amazing what my lonely heart will have me do.

2. Wonderful Life

(Verse)
I act like it’s not cold, it’s warm
Take back my curtains that have been drawn
Pretend all my bills have been paid
They’ve been okay for days

(Verse)
I smile through the door
Don’t worry about any storm
Not everyone will love me
But I’m not scared to try

(Chorus)
And I dream of a better life
And I’ll find what makes me smile
I’m not there but give me time
Let me say that, let it float through my hurt
Found a good worth day and I’m digging through my dirt
And I’m watching as the colors light the earth
Thinkin what a wonderful world
Yea, thinkin what a wonderful world

(Verse)
Scrape off my head, I don’t mess it
Black mascara from my eyes
Put on my brave face
The kind that tells I’m alright

(Verse)
I laugh when they’re not near
‘Cause I know the truth
Not everyone will love me
But I’m not scared to try

(Chorus x2)
‘Cause I dream of a better life
And I’ll find what makes me smile
I’m not there but give me time
Let me say that, let it float through my hurt
Found a good worth day and I’m digging through my dirt
And I’m watching as the colors light the earth
Thinkin what a wonderful world
Yea, thinkin what a wonderful world

I’m in a wonderful world

Samuel's reaction on seeing Eliab was my reaction on meeting H at the beginning of this year . My heart leaped and felt that surely this is the man I get to know and eventually build something meaningful with. Surely God has sent him to me. I prayed when I met him and I prayed when I felt he was becoming important to me. I prayed when I got scared that I could fall for him and he could hurt me. I prayed when we disagreed no matter how trivial, the disagreement would be. I prayed that God would teach me how to love him as he deserved to be loved as I also prayed that God would teach him how to love me as I needed to be loved. I fearfully prayed that if he was not meant to be in my life then God would take him from my life.

Again like Samuel I used my limited human eyes and mind to conclude that sure this is he. Yesterday at that reception it was like God was whispering to me, 'beloved, let it go. Let him go. He was not the best thing to happen to you. I see beyond what your human heart and mind can conceive. I look at who a person really is and that true element of who they are is not hidden from me' God was reminding me that never has He forsaken me or stopped being on my team. The next verses go on to detail one brother after another being presented yet not being the one chosen. God is reminding me to be patient and trust the process

I honestly believe that God knows me better than I know myself . He knows those deep seated desires that I cannot even dare articulate . So yeah I may have to meet several non-starters or not, regardless of that fact, the lesson in all that is to trust that I have entrusted my hearts desires and dreams to Him. He is faithful to keep that treasure for that day he has appointed. It will be well. I seem to have lost that hope and belief. I will get it back. That joy of life and belief that life is indeed good. The sun will shine again. Most days I am surprisingly okay and all engrossed with other aspects of my life. Some days are indeed like that but morning does come so it is okay