Last year i developed an aversion to expressing myself in whatever form,usually i love writing in my journals whether the book or online journal but at some point something happened and something inside me just closed off. I would find myself with the words or the need to release those words but at the thought of writing i would feel an almost physical pain......as if a part of me was being threatened with amputation. It seemed the well is filling up again as last week for the first time i wrote in my journal at home after i had started this blog.
Some time last year a couple of my friends were in a rare occasion together and someone asked whats the sweetest thing some dude has told you....of course being the tough,sophisticated girls that we see ourselves as,,,,we dint want to admit to anything that we thought the other would find silly or stupid....so for a while everyone was quiet or evading the question under the pretext that they were thinking....truth be told....i think we all know what we think is the sweetest thing that we have ever been told but as ever what our friends think or the image we imagine they hold of us is such an important consideration in the decision of what to reveal and what to withhold. I once read an interesting phrase; NAKED AND UNASHAMED to this day i wonder at what stage in my life,in what venue, with what audience,in what arena of my life would such a phrase ever hold true? For some it would hold true physically in that to be physically naked would not pose a problem for them...but that is another topic for another day.......since i have issues with being exposed in whatever form.......being emotionally naked is a real life terror for me.....for even those who are close to me or who presume to be close to me cannot claim to know me to an extent that they can say i am wholly known to them. A friend once asked me if i tell her everything. I found it a curious question and an absurd one to some level for i personally believe that no one ever tell you everything even when they claim to do so. In fact the people who so loudly profess to tell you each and everything about themselves are the ones you should be wary of. I talk a lot and in that there is a danger of assuming that one knows me wholly.....i always say that even if all my friends got together and had a conferences where they exchanged each and every morsel of information they have about me they still will not know me 80%. I think it is a show of possessiveness to want to wholly know someone else 100% and an act in futility for there are many instances that the very person does not even know themselves. As it is i have even forgotten why i started writing this post but its been interesting. I was reading a law book on women's reproductive rights and Aristotle is quoted saying 'justice and equality are synonymous. To be just is to be equal. To be unjust is to be unequal.' To me thats profound and it even applies to the resource distribution in my country. Am out
Some time last year a couple of my friends were in a rare occasion together and someone asked whats the sweetest thing some dude has told you....of course being the tough,sophisticated girls that we see ourselves as,,,,we dint want to admit to anything that we thought the other would find silly or stupid....so for a while everyone was quiet or evading the question under the pretext that they were thinking....truth be told....i think we all know what we think is the sweetest thing that we have ever been told but as ever what our friends think or the image we imagine they hold of us is such an important consideration in the decision of what to reveal and what to withhold. I once read an interesting phrase; NAKED AND UNASHAMED to this day i wonder at what stage in my life,in what venue, with what audience,in what arena of my life would such a phrase ever hold true? For some it would hold true physically in that to be physically naked would not pose a problem for them...but that is another topic for another day.......since i have issues with being exposed in whatever form.......being emotionally naked is a real life terror for me.....for even those who are close to me or who presume to be close to me cannot claim to know me to an extent that they can say i am wholly known to them. A friend once asked me if i tell her everything. I found it a curious question and an absurd one to some level for i personally believe that no one ever tell you everything even when they claim to do so. In fact the people who so loudly profess to tell you each and everything about themselves are the ones you should be wary of. I talk a lot and in that there is a danger of assuming that one knows me wholly.....i always say that even if all my friends got together and had a conferences where they exchanged each and every morsel of information they have about me they still will not know me 80%. I think it is a show of possessiveness to want to wholly know someone else 100% and an act in futility for there are many instances that the very person does not even know themselves. As it is i have even forgotten why i started writing this post but its been interesting. I was reading a law book on women's reproductive rights and Aristotle is quoted saying 'justice and equality are synonymous. To be just is to be equal. To be unjust is to be unequal.' To me thats profound and it even applies to the resource distribution in my country. Am out
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