dear Lord.
am at the point where am so weary believing doesn't seem to make sense anymore..nor do i know if i can keep holding on..yet without faith...whats the use of hoping....what i hear and what i see....it just keeps breaking...who i was .....i wonder if that girl will ever be..if it is for some good....well maybe a different me will appreciate it....this journey reminds me of much-afraid's journey to high places ....and how she had to develop hind feet such trying circumstances..but more so that her companions to the high places were sorrow and suffering........i have stopped reading that book..the allegory..too close to home....nway today all i can do is stand...whether i am holding on..is a matter of debate...for i cant elp but wonder if the choices i have made..whether they will validate me..or mock me......i am reading a civil action and it makes me miss law...i wrote that my affair with law leaves creases on my brow....hahahaa..there are moments like some harem girl it tantalizes me..that he best is with it and i am so missing out....other times it cajoles..of how i know that i know..that i would be awesome and excellent at it...so why not try it.....yet there is a part of me that knows..that to do that would be a gross betrayal of myself...and the beginning of an end...and just one step away from my own graveyard...the reasons of the heart..reason knows not...indeed how true.....yet at each moment when i falter and all i want to do is lie at where i have fallen...a straw is suddenly evident and we all know about drowning men and straws....it could be a song....tomorrow is a promise. . . so don't break...or he speaks right before we stop believing...or it could be an event that just gladdens my heart ..or like yesterday it could be time spent with precious friends...or it could be His word reminding me that His understanding no one can fathom..e does not grow weary or tired...and that he renews those who hope in him..so even now when i don't even know if i have the capacity to ope anymore..i believe HIM WHEN HE SAYS...he does not grow weary..for if he did...i wouldn't be here.....yet maybe just maybe i will see another day where i will be that girl who believed with her whole heart that THE BEST IS YET TO COME......j moss encouraged me with this song





Sittin here think 'bout times
I thought I wasen't gon' make it
Times I should've been dead
And been gone But God felt different
But I'm still all because of His goodness
I'm a living witness miracles still fall from heaven

He moves when we don't expect Him to
He knows the doors that we face
And He speaks right before we stop believin
He shows His love through his grace

I'll praise Him in the sanctuary
I'll praise Him with the tremble and dance
I'll praise Him with the trumpet and symbol
Since I'm breathin, I'm gon praise Him again

Sittin here think 'bout times
I thought I wasen't gon' make it
Times I should've been dead
And been gone But God felt different
But I'm still all because of His goodness
I'm a living witness miracles still fall from heaven

He moves when we don't expect Him to
He knows the doors that we face
And He speaks right before we stop believin
He shows His love through his grace

I'll praise Him in the sanctuary
I'll praise Him with the tremble and dance
I'll praise Him with the trumpet and symbol
Since I'm breathin, I'm gon praise Him again

I'll praise Him in the sanctuary
I'll praise Him with the tremble and dance
I'll praise Him with the trumpet and symbol
Since I'm breathin, I'm gon praise Him again

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Go on and get yours
Now let's dance!

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Go on and get yours
Now let's dance!

Hallelujah


I'll praise Him in the sanctuary
I'll praise Him with the tremble and dance
I'll praise Him with the trumpet and symbol
Since I'm breathin, I'm gon praise Him again

I'll praise Him in the sanctuary
I'll praise Him with the tremble and dance
I'll praise Him with the trumpet and symbol

Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin
Since I'm breathin, I'm gona praise Him again