Divine creativity equals unusual me

2017

As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears

6:49 PM
By Anya
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2017

FOCUS....My 2017 Mantra

4:03 PM
By Anya
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2017

I just showed up for my own life...

8:15 PM
By Anya
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In all honesty it's been almost two years since I did any serious writing. I'm heeding the call. I just want to write at least three posts per week whether they are good, they are interesting or mundane. I just need to write.

My biggest thing this year is to move out to my own place. AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! I'm starting over since a certain parent decided my household stuff better suited her parent. That is a whole other post if ever. I'm looking for a bedsitter/DSQ . When a friend of mine heard that he was so aghast that I just had to laugh and in all honesty I got where he was coming from but weirdly enough I'm so calm about it and sure. I do want to start and this time grow organically. I want to do it without financial stress or without any pressure to keep up with the Joneses. Let the Joneses live where they do but Anyango shall live where she chooses .

At one time I really wanted to live in Kileleshwa and to the shock of my family I made that dream a reality. I recall a friend chiding me quite severely that I needed to be more ambitious if that was the best place I could envision living. At the time I was quite annoyed but I brushed it off. I'm quite proud of 25 year old me who was fearless and relentless. I received quite a deluge of unsolicited opinion about my living situation and area of choice. It amazes me how people feel such freedom to express displeasure or disapproval about things that they neither fund nor control. The beauty of your twenties is the sense of inviolability that one has. It allows you room to dare things that in your thirties would leave you quaking. So in the spirit of getting on with it I left work a bit early and alighted at Parklands to start house hunting. My first choice would be Parklands/Highridge area, a choice that has earned me a few derisive comments and condescending looks. Nonetheless I believe that you shouldn't lower your aim as and until you have knocked on those doors and no opportunity has arisen. If you don't ask the answer is always no. I knew it would not be an easy find. I'd seen a few ads on the websites but those agents wanted like a quarter of the rent! Like boy bye! So today I decided I will do the door to door house hunting. Emotionally looking for a house this time was even more terrifying. Nonetheless I started with City Park Estate since I've always been curious about it. Dude that place is EXPENSIVE!!!!!. If the nice old man I met is to believed a one room / One bedroom is Kes 40,000. I kept asking are you sure it's one room? He kept saying yes it was and they are so sought after that before a person moves out another is ready to move in. You guy 40k!!!!!!! I thought the 25k for a bedsitter in Kileleshwa were ludicrous but this was ridiculous. Talking to that Old man was such a grace moment. He was so polite and helpful. Human beings somehow simultaneously possess the ability to restore your faith in humanity as well as lose your faith in humanity. Needless to say I walked round that place with no luck.

Next I tried 5th avenue Parklands but the Shopkeeper young guys were so hostile when I inquired about bedsitters that I decided to try 6th avenue which has in the past piqued my interest each time I've passed it. I walked the length of that road and most were homes or apartments. There were numerous adverts by Witch doctors and fumigation services yet not a single to let sign . I wondered about the proliferation of the ads by these witch doctors. I decided to call it a day and head home. I was more open to areas I had originally refused but decided I would try Highridge before throwing in the towel.

I am proud of myself. I went out and sought even if I did not find. I took the initiative and I am actually taking practical step in this goal.

Beyond that look at all I have written :) I was listening to side hustle school podcast and my take away was do one thing today that brings you closer to the goals you set. I did three things. I went house hunting, I changed the template of this blog and I actually did a blog post.

Here's to a focused 2017 .

2016

8:03 AM
By Anya
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31 the year ahead...Choosing me even when no one is choosing me

10:15 AM
By Anya
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Today is my birthday and I decided to read one of the blogs I frequent Marc and Angel .These twelve tenets are things I'd like to keep in mind in the coming year and hopefully live a life less ambivalent.

When life pushes you over, stand up and push back even harder. Where there is a fork in the road and choices to make, make the ones your future self will thank you for.

Today, start…

Choosing YOU. – Wearing a mask wears you out. Faking it is fatiguing. The most exhausting activity is pretending to be who you know you aren’t. No matter how loud their opinions are, they do not choose who YOU are. Choose YOU even if nobody else is choosing you.
Appreciating what you have. – Sometimes, when you make the most out of what you have, it turns out being a lot more than you ever imagined. A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you that it will start to feel like one. Time spent living is time worth appreciating. Read The Power of Now.
Believing in yourself and your dreams. – The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you; it’s when you don’t understand yourself. Believe in YOU. Listen to your soul. Trust your instincts. Acknowledge your own strengths. Dream it and dare it. Do what you are afraid of, and capable of. Follow your vision. Know that anything is possible. Know you CAN.
Being positive. – You can’t live a positive life with a negative attitude. Heaven on Earth is a choice we must make, not a place we must find. Let every day be a dream you can touch. Let every day be a love you can feel. Let every day be a reason to live. Life is too short to be anything but positive.
Taking action. – The happiest and most successful people are usually those who have broken the chains of procrastination, who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, passion, and productivity. You can be too. Remember, success in real estate is about location, location, location. Success in life is about action, action, action. ReadGetting Things Done.
Letting go. – The only thing that makes it a big part of your life is that you keep thinking about it. The biggest step in changing the world around you is to change the world within you. Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Just live in the present, concentrate on the things you can control, and take one small step at a time.
Picking yourself back up. – Where you are in life is temporary; where you end up in life is permanent; how you get from here to there is entirely up to you. So don’t give up. Sometimes when things go wrong it’s because they would have turned out worse if they had gone right.
Ignoring negative people. – You are not a rug; some people may try to walk all over you, but you don’t have to lie there and take it. There are seven billion people in the world; don’t waste your time by letting one of them ruin your happiness. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. Somewhere someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer.
Staying in touch with close friends and family. – Having somewhere to go is what we call ‘home.’ Having someone to love, who loves us in return, is what we call ‘family.’ Having both is a blessing. There comes a time in life when you’ll have to leave everything behind for awhile and start something new, but never forget the people who stood by your side, especially your close friends and family who never gave up on you.
Making time for fun. – Fun is way underrated. With all of life’s responsibilities, fun will sometimes seem like an indulgence. It shouldn’t be. It should be a requirement. It’s a happy talent to know how to let loose and play. People who make it a point play around and have fun are twenty times more likely to feel happy in the long run.
Spreading love and kindness. – The amazing thing about life is that you choose what you allow into it and out of it – you choose how things affect you, and how you affect the world. The happiness surrounding you is greatly affected by the choices you make every day. So choose to spread love and kindness to a least one person a day. Imagine the amount of happiness you would create in a lifetime if you did. Read The Happiness Project.
Being the change you want to see in the world. – Don’t tell others how to live; LIVE and let them watch you. Practice what you preach or don’t preach at all. Walk the talk. The people who look up to you will likely emulate your actions and strive to become who you are; so BE who you want them to be

Ambivalent Thirty one

8:47 PM
By Anya
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I am known as the one person who loves my birthday and makes a big deal out of it. For some reason I am very ambivalent about this birthday. I'm not scared of growing old but I just lack that excitement I usually have in spades during my birthday. The only other birthday I've ever been meh about was 26 as I felt it was all so boring. Each year I like to do a prebirthday post to just share some thoughts or lessons I've learnt and I will try to do that.

1. Turning thirty was awesome beyond what I ever imagined it to be. I was validated. The confidence, the self awareness and self acceptance is so much more valuable that all that upheaval that was my twenties.

2. Sadly some of my optimism, hope and naivete has been chipped away. I am less sure that tomorrow is assured or that most of my dreams will materialize . The sense of invincibility is gone. Suddenly my peers and I face health fears, or such tremendous loss be it of our loved ones or careers. Death and sickness are no longer such far fetched notions but rather a very real and grim possibility.I guess with that is also a realisation that your family are not some accessory to be taken for granted but rather such a vital part of you that may not always be there thus making them even more precious. The upside of this realisation is one gets clarity on what and who matters.

3. Control is an illusion. One of the biggest lessons I've learnt this past year. Life will throw enough curve balls to let you know that the plans we so love to make and depend on are almost meaningless. At first this is a jarring realisation and makes the world such a scary place, but eventually it also makes you realise that it is somewhat freeing in the sense that you stop worrying about things that are beyond your control and concentrate on appreciating what you have .

4. Tenacity, grit and patience. There are moments when I have felt like I am crawling through life with barely enough strength to take the next step but the inner quality to keep fighting even when quitting would be the easier choice has carried me. That quality is a flame fanned by yourself, your thoughts, your faith, and your support system. If nothing else, I have learnt the very paramount necessity of a reliable support system. More than that I have learnt that as human beings we are more resilient than we believe.

5. Life goes on regardless of what happens, life does go on.

lyrics

Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine

8:15 AM
By Anya
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life

Say something.......please

5:37 PM
By Anya
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I’m not there but give me time

1:12 PM
By Anya
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And it's all okay, cause love will find a way to be what love is

8:27 PM
By Anya
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I decided to start another blog, a more personal one hence it has private settings. Below is an excerpt from a post I did today. The private blog is a chronicle of my thirties on a very intimate level. I realised that my twenties are actually painted in this blog, that is a good thing but some parts of my life I want to keep to myself :) while still maintaining a link between those two decades.

Samuel's reaction on seeing Eliab was my reaction on meeting H at the beginning of this year . My heart leaped and felt that surely this is the man I get to know and eventually build something meaningful with. Surely God has sent him to me. I prayed when I met him and I prayed when I felt he was becoming important to me. I prayed when I got scared that I could fall for him and he could hurt me. I prayed when we disagreed no matter how trivial, the disagreement would be. I prayed that God would teach me how to love him as he deserved to be loved as I also prayed that God would teach him how to love me as I needed to be loved. I fearfully prayed that if he was not meant to be in my life then God would take him from my life.

Again like Samuel I used my limited human eyes and mind to conclude that sure this is he. Yesterday at that reception it was like God was whispering to me, 'beloved, let it go. Let him go. He was not the best thing to happen to you. I see beyond what your human heart and mind can conceive. I look at who a person really is and that true element of who they are is not hidden from me' God was reminding me that never has He forsaken me or stopped being on my team. The next verses go on to detail one brother after another being presented yet not being the one chosen. God is reminding me to be patient and trust the process

I honestly believe that God knows me better than I know myself . He knows those deep seated desires that I cannot even dare articulate . So yeah I may have to meet several non-starters or not, regardless of that fact, the lesson in all that is to trust that I have entrusted my hearts desires and dreams to Him. He is faithful to keep that treasure for that day he has appointed. It will be well. I seem to have lost that hope and belief. I will get it back. That joy of life and belief that life is indeed good. The sun will shine again. Most days I am surprisingly okay and all engrossed with other aspects of my life. Some days are indeed like that but morning does come so it is okay

Pages

Divine creativity equals unusual me

As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears

FOCUS....My 2017 Mantra

I just showed up for my own life...

2016

31 the year ahead...Choosing me even when no one is choosing me

Ambivalent Thirty one

Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine

Say something.......please

I’m not there but give me time

And it's all okay, cause love will find a way to be what love is

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