so anyway i was home one of these evening when i was really tired and on radio there was some discussion about how ladies have such high standards when looking for guys or husbands etc
Enough of my pals, mostly the men, insist on the fact that i have expectations that are either too high or not realistic....
i honestly don't think so..i have dated several guys and they were not perfect nor do i presume to be perfect..but i refuse to settle for mediocre when i know am not mediocre and i believe that there are people out there who are good and would get me...plus i refuse all men are chauvinists.
One of the main contentions people have with me..is my stand that roles don't have to be defined by society.I firmly believe that its up to the two people in the relationship to define who does what and what is happening in their relationship.One of the most inane statement i keep hearing is"but everybody does it"or "everyone knows its always been like that"....its just plain stupid..people used to walk naked but it doesn't mean we have to. Then another stupid justification is that African MEN ARE LIKE THAT.....of all the silliest arguments..well if i find out they are all like that then i will try my luck elsewhere.I don't believe that a woman should do all the housework yet she has a career just like the man.
I also don't believe in taking working in progress men with the intention of improving them..i applaud women who have the time,energy and desire to do this...i do not..i think everyone has a choice whom they can date and if i don't like how you dress,smell,talk etc then i have no business dating you....
i don't believe in the perfect man theory..but as i said am not settling for less than i am worth.no apologies there
I seriously don't think its too much to ask for intelligent conversation...any other alternative will just lead to contempt and i doubt there are any men who want to be with a woman who looks down on them,,,and knowing me it would not be subtle.One of my childhood friends was intellectually challenged and almost everyone in our hood would wonder why we were friends.He was very good looking and knew how to dress and all yet upstairs there was just a big vacuum. I knew this but the reason we remained friends was that he chose to be my friend when everyone else looked down upon me as unworthy and uncool.So i learnt to adjust my thinking whenever i was with him. It become so natural that even today if i were to meet him its like an automatic shift in gears. Yet in all that i knew i could never date him....ever!!!..we could have fun laughs...talk music and stuff going down but i knew that in as much as he was my friend i looked down on him..as shaming as that is...back then he was like some hot guy everyone was after but i would wonder how he would keep all these girls some who were very smart...but as they say each to his own.
I cannot stand clowns.i like humour just like the next person but i cannot stand clowns and by that i mean those people who take humour to such levels you would equate them to monkeys.When humour is over the top it disgusts me. My sense of humour is more sarcastic and i get that not everyone has to get it but i cannot stand those people who have the potential to humiliate you yet excuse it all in the name of humour.My father whom i adore is very funny and they have laughs with my mum even after all these years of marriage and my pals who have met him can attest to how funny he is...yet i love the fact that it has a limit..i never have to sit in suspense wondering what will come of his mouth..whatever he will say will make us laugh and not embarrass us.Humour like all things has to have boundaries.The flip side being the genetically boring human being...waah where do i start...i believe i am fun and full of life so i do not see the need to tie myself down to someone who just robs me that very same essence of life instead of adding it.Having a personality and an interesting one at that is very important to me..i do appreciate that not everyone can be as loud as me...and THANK GOD for that...but being interesting is a choice.
I used to be of the school of thought that a man's education level did not matter even where i was more educated than him. Sadly it does matter...it may not matter to me...but sooner or later it brings issues as the man never lets you forget nor his family,his friends or your family.Several relationships have driven this point home so i have crossed over i am not dating a man less educated than me...i may be cool with it but the flak that follows is not worth it.I refuse to apologise for having an education.I don't think it defines me...but others choose to see me through those lenses and so i will adorn mine when associating with such.
On a correlated issue how much a man earns.I am still undecided on this one. I probably gave my friends grief in my philosophy that it doesn't matter i can live anywhere so long as i believe in the relationship.Two of my very good friends said this was bull and a shame that i cannot come from a comfortable environment and go to a hand to mouth situation.My friend Hadida says that better to cry in an expensive carpet than to cry in a cement floor.hahahaha this very cynical statement stems from the reasoning that even the best man will hurt you and make you cry so its up to you to choose which man will make you cry and what environment you will shed your precious tears.As i said am still divided on this
I probably have other pet peeves but for now do tell me your take...do you think its a lost cause to wait for the appropriate man/woman-hihihi.....and what are some of your non-negotiable qualities