In an ideal world Jill would be able to sit across Jack and tell him all this, but we don't live in Utopia. So I will pass on Jill's message and Jack you may or may never get this. For the fun times, she is utterly grateful. The laughs and the silly talks were awesome. She told me 'Tell him I think he is awesome' she felt she could never tell you that herself,or that she likes you, or that she misses you. She said that it wasn't so much that she lacked courage to utter the words,but more to the instinct that warned her that some unspoken rule would be broken. You are so different from what she has known so far. That's a good thing but mostly it just frustrates her. While her bloke pals rush to open up to her, you are so closed up like a clam. She equates being a confidante to being valued and trusted, ergo her conclusion that she is of no value to you nor do you regard her as trustworthy. She said she heard you when talked as to the cause of your tendency to be closed up. She appreciates the fact that you told her and finally she is beginning to grasp the practical implication of that. More than anything she is truly sorry for pushing and pushing...her main drive was to spend more time with you and not to make you feel hounded and pressurized...it drove her insane trying to work out if you liked her and were interested in her...it hurt her that you did not seek her out or ever seem to miss her or actively plan to spend time with her...then she would recall the "walls" and that its not easy...and she empathized more than you would ever know...it was cool even when it wasn't ok...SHE WAS WAS THE ONE With EXPECTATIONS...Jill said that she was letting go of these expectations...it's a bit sad coz it meant closing the door to you jack...but not to you as her friend...so Jack hope you heard her, if she slips once in a while, its cool: it's never that serious...So said a wise woman.
Just when you think life has thrown you all the curveballs it can, another one comes and hits you so hard you are seeing stars or it comes at such a surprise you actually fall on your ass.
This post is filed the one million and one good byes. May you never come back and say i never opened that door.I am shutting it...slowly painfully and regrettably but wisely I am.I Don't even know why I love you.I KNOW I HAVE NEVER SAID THOSE WORDS.BUT Surely you must know.SOmeone said we are entitled to be stupid over one person.WELL YOU ARE MY STUPID PERSON...HAHHAHA...POETIC JUSTICE
I took a walk around the world to
Ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark
Side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah
I watched the world float to the
Dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
To do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite
You called me strong, you called me weak
But your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my
Superhuman might
Kryptonite