Say something.......please

5:37 PM
By Anya
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And it's all okay, cause love will find a way to be what love is

8:27 PM
By Anya
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I decided to start another blog, a more personal one hence it has private settings. Below is an excerpt from a post I did today. The private blog is a chronicle of my thirties on a very intimate level. I realised that my twenties are actually painted in this blog, that is a good thing but some parts of my life I want to keep to myself :) while still maintaining a link between those two decades.

Samuel's reaction on seeing Eliab was my reaction on meeting H at the beginning of this year . My heart leaped and felt that surely this is the man I get to know and eventually build something meaningful with. Surely God has sent him to me. I prayed when I met him and I prayed when I felt he was becoming important to me. I prayed when I got scared that I could fall for him and he could hurt me. I prayed when we disagreed no matter how trivial, the disagreement would be. I prayed that God would teach me how to love him as he deserved to be loved as I also prayed that God would teach him how to love me as I needed to be loved. I fearfully prayed that if he was not meant to be in my life then God would take him from my life.

Again like Samuel I used my limited human eyes and mind to conclude that sure this is he. Yesterday at that reception it was like God was whispering to me, 'beloved, let it go. Let him go. He was not the best thing to happen to you. I see beyond what your human heart and mind can conceive. I look at who a person really is and that true element of who they are is not hidden from me' God was reminding me that never has He forsaken me or stopped being on my team. The next verses go on to detail one brother after another being presented yet not being the one chosen. God is reminding me to be patient and trust the process

I honestly believe that God knows me better than I know myself . He knows those deep seated desires that I cannot even dare articulate . So yeah I may have to meet several non-starters or not, regardless of that fact, the lesson in all that is to trust that I have entrusted my hearts desires and dreams to Him. He is faithful to keep that treasure for that day he has appointed. It will be well. I seem to have lost that hope and belief. I will get it back. That joy of life and belief that life is indeed good. The sun will shine again. Most days I am surprisingly okay and all engrossed with other aspects of my life. Some days are indeed like that but morning does come so it is okay

What about us?

2:04 PM
By Anya
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life

...again

3:35 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

breaking rules

rule breaker and its ok

1:03 PM
By Anya
1 Comments

I'm going through something that I probably don't understand...I presume its a form of self discovery...that never ending journey. I purposed to read as many inspirational articles in line with being authentic. I'd like to share one that I read today that just spoke to me so specifically. I felt like someone was reading my life.

The article is by Jennifer Boykin at the change blog:

How Breaking the Rules Taught Me to Trust Myself

Remember that fable about the Emperor’s New Clothes?

In it, a pretentious emperor who is overly in love with himself and his finery is fooled by shifty tailors who make a fortune tricking him into believing he’s wearing the most exquisite finery in all the land. In fact, it’s so exquisite, only the most educated and refined people can actually even see it.

The emperor can’t see it, of course. But his pride doesn’t allow him to speak that truth.

Instead, he orchestrates a parade so he can prance about before the commoners in his charge.

Until a kid at the parade, seeing the emperor’s bare behind, exclaims, “But he’s NAKED!”

I’m that kid.

I’m the strange one in my family. I don’t always follow the rules. In fact, sometimes I’ve intentionally set out to break them. Because I think some of those asinine rules, are sort of – well, asinine.

And, if they’re dumb enough and they continue to hurt or limit me, I simply let them go, and live my own beautiful life.

Here are some of the rules I’ve broken over the years:

Get a Good Solid Job and Keep it. FOREVER.

A lot of people find success with this model. Not me, though. Nearly 30 years ago, I graduated at the top of my class and was hired by IBM. I HATED that job. But, everyone said it was a good one. In fact, they told us that 3000 people applied for each spot that they filled.

Did I mention that I HATED that job? It was such a bad fit. But the “world” said I should be grateful. So, I stuck it out.

Until a good friend was diagnosed with cancer. At 25. Her tumor was spotted by her Labor & Delivery nurse when she was delivering her son.

The very next day, I quit what was, at that time, the most secure job in the universe. Oh, by the way, within a few years, IBM announced its first EVER reduction in force. Many of my former colleagues lost their jobs.

Lesson in Self-Trust: Follow your heart. The security you think you feel from your current circumstances is just an illusion. Nothing stays the same. Everything and everyone dies. Live your one beautiful life today.

Don’t Tell

If ever a rule was meant to be broken, it’s this one. Nevertheless, for generations, it’s been a pervasive socializing message we pass on to our children.

There are many wonderful people in my family. But, for generations, our story has been riddled with alcoholism. We do lots of good in the world. We’re loving. We can be lots of fun. But, many of us drink. To the point that some of us die.

Like my father.

But, we don’t talk about those things.

So, I didn’t. I grieved in isolation until a high school reunion a decade or two later, when I found out that several of my “best friends” also grew up with alcoholic parents.

For YEARS, we sat together, ate lunch together, were in marching band together.

But, none of us broke code. Every one of us suffered in silence. What a waste!

Lesson in Self-Trust: You’re as sick as your secrets. All around you people are hiding their pain. Stop comparing your insides with everyone else’s outsides. Instead, be vulnerable. To be free of the feeling of isolation, you have to take a risk. Intimacy begins with me.

Don’t Cry Out Loud

Along the lines of “don’t quit your day job” and “don’t tell anyone what’s really going on,” is the message that you do not show your “negative” feelings. Instead, you suffer in silence. Forever.

In fact, merit badges are awarded for lifetime achievements in martyrdom.

Remember that song by Melissa Manchester, “Don’t Cry Out Loud?” . . . “just keep it inside, and learn how to hide your feelings.”

Well, when I listened to that song, I really, truly thought Melissa was giving me my very own personal marching orders for life.

I was thirty years old before I realized she was being ironic.

Because my baby died. And I simply had to cry out loud. For a long, long time. My grief was so powerful there was no way to hold it in.

Over time, though, I saw that expressing my feelings was actually the key to healing from my devastation.

But there was more – Because my daughter’s death was so incredibly devastating, it unleashed all the buried sorrows from the years before. In fact, part of my daughter’s legacy is that I had the opportunity to grieve every silenced loss that had come before. I cried. For all of it. Out loud. Until I didn’t need to anymore. And then, I was healed.

Lesson for Self-Trust: The only way out is through! Feel your beautiful feelings. Don’t let anyone tell you your feelings are “wrong.” Or even “right” for that matter. You feel what you feel and that is that. You don’t need to justify your feelings to anyone. Oh, and here’s a bonus tip – you don’t have to ACT on your feelings either. You can just open up to your own beautiful truth, feel your feelings, then let them go.

Breaking the Rules. Sensibly. Or, not.

Though it may sound like it, I’m not a casual or frivolous rule breaker. When I’m considering a major life change, I don’t leap and then look. And, I don’t buck the system just to be ornery.

On the other hand, when something is “off” in my life, I no longer pretend that everything’s just “fine” over here.

Your One Beautiful Life is entirely too precious to waste being untrue to yourself and others. If you can, when you can, speak your truth.

Start small. If you don’t like broccoli, for heaven’s sake stop filling your plate with it at Thanksgiving! Don’t smile when you’re angry. Don’t say “it’s okay” if it isn’t.

Speak your beautiful truth. Trust your beautiful heart. Take up your own beautiful place in this world.

Trust yourself. The Emperor and his finery are just an illusion. Cloak yourself in your own beautiful humanity and, if the “rules” are killing your beautiful spirit, let them go. Spread your beautiful wings.

Look once. Maybe even look again. But then, LEAP like it’s nobody’s business!

We make our choice. And then?

We make our choice right.

CONFIDENCE

Rejection Therapy

11:59 AM
By Anya
0 Comments

I learn of new things daily. Today I came across the rejection theory and it's piqued my interest. I want to commit to playing the game for 30 days. For anyone who knows me, rejection is one of my biggest fears. I avoid situations that have rejection potential. On trip back one of my friend was scolding me for refusing to give this guy I have known for years a chance. He wants to cook me lunch but I keep cancelling or hedging meeting up with him. at the back of my mind rejection is a threatening bully that won't allow me to take a chance. So yeah I want to try this.

For Jason Comely- the founder's story check out this link
If you aren’t familiar with Rejection Therapy: it’s a social game invented by an introverted guy named Jason Comely, and the one rule is that you must get rejected by another person at least once, every single day for 30 days

The five objectives of Rejection Therapy are:

1. To be more aware of how irrational social fears control and restrict our lives

2. Smash the tyranny of fear and reap the treasures (treasures include wealth, relationships and self-confidence)

3. Learn from, and even enjoy rejection

4. To not be attached to outcomes, especially when it involves the free agency of other people

5. Permit yourself to fail

What counts as a rejection attempt and a successful rejection?

A REJECTION ATTEMPT COUNTS IF YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

A REJECTION COUNTS IF YOUR REQUEST IS DENIED

A REJECTION ATTEMPT SHOULD PUT YOU IN A POSITION OF VULNERABILITY, BUT ALLOW THE RESPONDENT TO BE IN A POSITION OF POWER

When playing Rejection Therapy, make requests for things you want and are outside your comfort zone. If you don't want it and/or don't feel the fear – don't ask for it. You should also always expect rejection, because that counts as success in Rejection Therapy. It's as simple as that.

There is an exception to the rule, and that is if you're using the cards. The cards will suggest actions to take (called "rejection attempts") so you don't regress to a more protective and comfortable state.

Many of our fears are irrational, which is why I suggest "players" of Rejection Therapy go into a state known as Buddhist "no mind". It short circuits the mind and the fear that the mind creates, allowing you to make a rejection attempt with less discomfort.

One amazing thing I noticed about Rejection Therapy – getting rejected is hard! People are a lot more accommodating and willing to give you what you want than you can imagine! Try it and see for yourself!

awesome

Busy Being Awesome

1:07 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

These past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. Most of it water under the bridge but over the weekend I spent quite some time with one of my close friends who had being going through some pretty dark times. In any case he is much better and he shared some home truths with me. Going through what he went through forced him to evaluate his life and be brutally honest with himself and in turn made him be honest with others. One of the things that came out was how my biggest hindrance and/or weakness is my predilection to very intelligent men but who are emotionally 'ambiguous' his words not mine. I would actually say emotionally unavailable and since this friend knows me and my family, he was like much as I hate it, my relationship with my father does come to play. I hate the whole my life is my mess and my folks are to blame feeling its a cop out but I do agree with him that one of my biggest hindrances are the men I choose to let into my life and how I relate to them. He was of the opinion that till I stopped idolizing my father and admit that he has done shitty stuff and stop always stating how the best of me is due to him then I can't move on .Anyway this was a long discussion and that is not my reason for blogging today seeing as I also told him that I have both parents issues seeing as most of my life I've had a cold, unaffectionate, demanding and performance oriented mother which to my thinking has affected me much worse than my father's infidelity.

As I said I hate cop outs but as someone said, Love is a need not a want. Home is where you first learn how to love and its where your most basic need of affirmation should be fulfilled and if it is not, You walk around with this hole despite your best effort; you were created to be loved, affirmed and appreciated . If that does not occur, somethings will not work as they should. The lenses through which you will view the world and relate to others will be obscured and twisted; despite your best effort!! Aaaargghh!That is a painful truth. I hate being labelled a victim and despite anything I've gone through in my twenty eight years on earth, I've never seen myself as a victim and I'm actually repelled by that term. I don't believe that once things happen to you that you are stuck forever in that state or definition. Hence my constant rebellion against pigeonholes that society would attempt to stick me into. Catching up with my friend was amazing as I could see his life was on an upward trajectory and he was reaching for the sun and I was a bit envious for indeed this whole year has been amazing yet also frustrating for me in that I've felt at times stuck. like I would start on paths and each time have doors shut and over and over again , I would wonder what I'm not doing to get to the next level. I have so many dreams, plans and aspirations. I believe my going to Europe is pivotal to those plans yet its like I have feet of clay and for the life of me cannot get away!!!!!!! It is excruciatingly frustrating. I think sometimes that frustration clouds the simple joy of living my dream of doing fashion. The tiny but oh so significant growth I've made in my skills and trade. The sheer courage it has taken to pursue my dream against so much opposition. He reminded me that I inspired him to be a free spirit. That in living that other life and following my dream AND actually being happy doing it, is something to write home about. I went home so deep in thought. I cancelled all plans and stayed home thinking what I needed to do to get beyond this hindrance. I'm a doer and don't just sit down accepting the status quo.

While contemplating my life I recalled a blogpost earlier in the week which had also made me think about my life and actually ~~depressed~~ me. It was at one of my favorite blogs Very Smart brothas. The comments were actually informative. I'm not a Lil Wayne Fan though surprisingly I actually do like his song 'how to love' which formed the reference of the discussion. I read the caption below and felt it to my bone how true those words were

We’re treated to the entire lifespan of a child who turns into a girl who turns into a woman searching for love or something and constantly finding some semblance of it in all the wrong places. Which, let’s be real, is the crux of the whole single black woman trance and fascination that has taken over America. Nearly every story that we get from women revolves around some bad choices. Of course, those bad choices were crafted well before the young woman even knew she’d be in a position to make them because she never learned…how to love. In this video, the girl’s entire life was filled with a mother spending her time dealing with no good men because she just…didn’t know how not to.
That’s such an interesting concept to me. The truth is, it’s one of the most vital components to any of our lives. Without a paradigm on how to show affection and express love, its virtually impossible to know what constitutes actual caring. So many women and men spend their lives running after some elusive version of what love and happiness looks like, without even realizing that it actually is. You can blame some of the media for that but at the end of the day, even the richest of the rich struggles with sharing. Just being there for somebody everyday can set a positive trend.

Weezy is a joke as a person with children all over the states but to me that did not detract from the discussion. I believe in filtering things and taking only what makes sense to me and is beneficial to my life while throwing out the chaff. That day I was down for some reason but mostly it was because of the thoughts going through my mind wondering if I would forever walk with this 'deficiency' in me, whether I was forever destined to relate wrongly with other people just because in certain ways my parents did not relate well with me. So fast forward to a few days later and my friend brings home a few hard truths. My friend thinks I want to leave this country because of my father. I don't think that is the whole story. I love both my parents and and when the whole math is done, they have raised me fairly well and taught me valuable lessons. Without them I wouldn't be who I am. INTELLECTUALLY I do know they love me, but where it matters most they failed me when it came to instilling in me a sense of value, acceptance and worth. That they failed miserably. Sadly we relate much better than ever but in some ways it is too late. My friend did raise a very vital point that till I have a very frank adult conversation with my father, I'm stuck. I've been meaning to have a conversation with my father from when I was in my second year in Campus when he first cheated on my mum. Somehow I never get the guts to do it. I used to be so close to my dad hence his betrayal was much worse to bear. I was used to my mum being who she was as much as it hurts. Once I moved out I've had confrontations with my mum where basically I call her out on some of the stuff she does that are hurtful and mean. It has in the long term improved our relationship not to the best friends level. That we will never be but at least its cordial. Yet I'm unable to call out my dad on the shit he does as my pal puts it. I think before I leave this country I must do it. For me. I refuse to walk around with this.

In my search for answers of how to get over mommy and daddy issues I came across a blog-post that has become like my mantra. My favorite part 'be incredibly fucking awesome all the time'. That is what I am doing. Being awesome all the time. I haven't done a serious blog post in like ages but you know what? The new busily awesome me just had to write an awesome post today :-). I'm working on having a fashion show and a series of photo shoots before the year is out. See below for what inspired me:

So here are three simple steps for dealing with shittyness:

Deal with it, Move on
When you have something bad happen to you in life you have two basic choices: Dwell on it or move on and enjoy life. The trick is choosing the latter 100% of the time. I have spent hours of my life stressing about what I am going to do with my parents (as a child and adult) and at some point you have to realize living YOUR life is the priority.
It may sound shitty and perhaps a little selfish and over-simplified, but at some point you have to look out for number one – that’s you (and your wife/kids). Stop thinking about your depressed mom and your shitty drug addicted father and move one. Think about how beautiful the world is and explore it. Think about the people you can help, that are in your situation, and help. Make your dreams come true – it’s cliche’, but fuck it, I’ll say it again – make your dreams come true.
Metaphorically Punch your Parents in the Mouth for being so GODDAM SHITTY!
It’s okay to be a little angry at your parents. If you are like me and dropped onto this earth for no apparent reason to unreasonably shitty parents who squandered every opportunity – I feel you. Instead of yelling at them, arguing, hating them, and even the risk of physical violence to have your sweet, sweet revenge – don’t.
The best way to metaphorically punch your shitty parents in the mouth is to just be happy. Ignore there issues and focus on your family. The instant you could care less about their issues and you feel at ease – you’ve won. Then revert to the bullet point above. Be happy.

Be incredibly fucking Awesome!
Sorry for all the vulgarity, but let me just say I have found that the best way for me to knock off the dirty build up of life’s shittyness is to be incredibly fucking awesome all the time. Yes, I’m serious.
Pursuing happiness and adventure with a passion, living life so damned hard that President Obama would do a speech on it after a stock market crash to console people who lost everything, to be so damned awesome that what other people are doing means shit to you.
Invent something, write a book, travel, have adventure, love, build, help, and do everything else you always wanted to do.
If you aren’t doing that – then look at your life and ask yourself what’s keeping you from it.

different

what's my motivation?

2:01 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

I'm a big fan of Very smart brothers blog and every morning I have to check it out as part of my routine. Today's post was on motivation. As I read the post and the comments I wondered what my motivation was. So I decided to try and put in in my own blog post. I fear this will be a jumbled blog post as I will be writing as the thoughts come.

I think currently I live and breathe my dream for fashion. My waking hours and my dreams are all about how I can achieve that dream and not just the dream of going to fashion school in Italy but actually doing fashion wherever I am and it being a success. This dream has required of me everything; all that I am thus fear is also behind it. The fear of failure and ridicule. The fear that perhaps I should have towed the line like the rest rather than thinking I am special. I do not think of myself as a competitive person or as a person in the habit of measuring my success in relation to others but I must admit our peers to give us a yardstick by which we check our progress whether we like it or not. In a sense that also motivates me, that not only must I catch up to the status quo, but I must surpass it and set a new one though not necessarily using my friends as a measure but rather my previous view of how my life would turn out. That ensures that once in a while I have nagging questions and doubts as to whether the path I have chosen is right and how I can ensure I do achieve my goals in a successful manner.
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest fear in my life. In WHATEVER situation the thought of rejection does inform my conscious and unconscious behavior. I have tried to psychoanalyze why this is so till I gave up. I wonder if in my childhood I faced a lot of rejection or I PERCEIVED that I faced rejection, but nonetheless the thought of being rejected leaves me cold. I'm not a fan of blaming everything on your childhood as it's a cop out. I read a book recently that simply blew me away; ― Steve Toltz, A Fraction of the Whole “Losers blame their parents; Failures blame their kids.” I agree. Nonetheless, I would rather convince myself that I do not want something than allow myself to be vulnerable and risk rejection. That said and done, I realised that was a self-defeating attitude and I try in most things to go against my very fiber to still be open to things and so despite this insidious fear I am still an adventurous person who tries all kinds of things for the sheer possibility that it could be Interesting. Which drives me to my other motivating factor, 'interesting'. I will try almost anything if I suspect it will be 0.00001% interesting. Someone said that most men want life as easy and comfortable as possible while most women want life interesting. I am definitely in that percentage. The pursuit of interesting is one of my biggest goals and drive in life. The thought of getting married in the same manner most people have my whole life, doing the job everyone else has, having the same 2.5 kids people have, is reason to jump off a cliff. Same applies to the men I'm attracted to. Is he interesting and sadly I find it hard to articulating what exactly that entails. I just know it when I see and experience it. It is why the thought that I've become provincial is killing me. There is a whole world out there with interesting things, foods, drinks, people and views that I have not experienced. I AM MISSING OUT. It should be noted that interesting does not always lead to fun or good experiences but it sure does beat boring.

My faith in God has motivated me much more than anything in my whole life. I am nothing without God as a reference point. My belief in God is at the root of my confidence and strength to move each and every day. It is what drives my engines. It is beyond my mind's comprehension how people live without belief in God. Honestly it baffles my mind. I know I can't survive without my faith in God, despite the proliferation of cynicism as an accepted and fashionable attitude when it comes to God. My very essence is from Him. All the good that is me is from Him and any redeeming quality that I may have is from him. The only person I trust to love me unconditionally and ACTUALLY does is God. The one who never tires to listen and encourage me.

Finally my other big motivation is the belief and desire to be different. I am different and that belief is so strongly embedded in me that no logic or evidence can remove it. One of my friends, a guy, likes saying I like rebelling against all authority and rules. While my first instinct is usually to go against rules, I do not most times. I also believe that we are not some robots to just follow rules for rules sake. It has to make sense to me. More than that the person has to have the authority to be enforcing these rules in my eyes; hence who are you? or you are asking me to do that as who? is a common phrase in my speech. More than that the answer to the question 'why?' usually determines my obedience or lack of it. Most people want to issue commands and expect immediate obedience. I do not work like that. Why I'm doing what I'm doing matters a lot. We are not sheep! it infuriates most people but I'm quick to point out that I am only protecting myself from authoritarian rule from anyone and frankly, stupidity out of lack of HAVING AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT. I am much closer to my mother than my father simply because my father believes in talking to me and explaining the rationale behind anything he requests of me while my mother believes in issuing orders and expecting no questions asked and instant obedience . To use a personality analysis a friend sent me sent me to show me how I am:

Portrait of an ISFP - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Sensing)

As an ISFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in via your five sense in a literal, concrete fashion.

They need to feel as if they're living their lives in accordance with what they feel is right, and will rebel against anything which conflicts with that goal. They're likely to choose jobs and careers which allow them the freedom of working towards the realization of their value-oriented personal goals.

ISFPs have no desire to lead or control others, just as they have no desire to be led or controlled by others. They need space and time alone to evaluate the circumstances of their life against their value system, and are likely to respect other people's needs for the same.

While I did not agree with some of the other traits, I actually agreed with the above quoted applying to myself. Because I believe I am different I do not do things just because they have always been done. I do them because I like them or they make sense to me. It means I do not do some things that people think everyone should do like necessarily cooking for some man every day of my life like some servant. I have a fear of conforming to the norm and just being blah! The good side of my healthy love of being different is that I come up with creative things and my mind is able to think outside the box.

So what motivates you?

aha moment

....I got my groove back

11:45 AM
By Anya
0 Comments

Amy Wessel

longing, wanting, yearning....dreaming

6:02 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

fashion

....awwww...couple love

3:14 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

citi

...rejection sensitivity....

11:04 AM
By Anya
0 Comments

So my friend’s birthday party two things happened. I saw a guy I would typically be drawn to…the yellow yellow as betty my pal calls them in disdain..hihihi…and I was like hmmm perhaps this one..but he was not interested in me..something I can usually tell in a few minutes these days…Thank you Jesus for the hard lessons learnt….so for a while I was bummed…and feeling all pity party..’I am always being rejected(all so not true)…etc..I’m not pretty enough…I talk too much…I am not enough…this whole dialogue was going on in my head as I carried on interesting conversation with the rest of the people there….madness I tell you...so in my typical manner I decided to ignore this guy and talk to the rest..and I actually had fun..and then some guy started talking to me..i had not even noticed him before..and he had such interesting stuff to say..especially about giving up your dreams in order to ‘grow up’….it was so sad because I know exactly what he means and I wanted to tell him..scream if you must know…that don’t give them up completely..tuck them away..hide them but you have to eventually live that stuff..or the best of who you are dies…then it was cake cutting time..and it was pretty late plus I was till pretty bummed so I wanted to escape the scene of the atrocity against me..actually more of my pride was hurt than anything..that the yellow yellow did not like me…so I told my pal on the way home how I am not ready to go out there..meeting people and all…since my two greatest fears are failure and rejection…and what the night taught me was that it’s really unpleasant..yeah she thinks I’m barking mad…anyway thought about it slept and today ironically I made a different decision..i will stay at my job for the contract period..that is just before Christmas..it is just 3weeks..but this whole week I have been thinking about honor..and how much it means to me…and I think I can do this…so that if I leave this place..it will be in good faith. It seems unrelated but it is not…and yeah the internet says I have rejection sensitivity….meeeeeeeeeeehhhh….so what…

him

Fray

11:03 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

life

Lonely...

6:05 PM
By Anya
2 Comments

It's never that serious...or is it?

2:16 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

Bye

Curveballs

6:50 PM
By Anya
1 Comments

life

hmmmmmmmmm

7:35 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

life

love triangle's

8:03 PM
By Anya
0 Comments

LAME BOOK

Numerically updated

6:09 PM
By Anya
1 Comments

My work life basically means my blogging life is basically extinct. So much has happened

1.i did so many rounds of interviews and in December i get to start as an ASSOCIATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!can you believe that....i did not look for this job...am still bawled over...but till i see the contract terms let me relax

2.i learnt what office politics is all about. i Think its shame when a whole senior manager gets competitive with an intern..like dude what wrong with you...so you started at a a lower rank and did not rise as fast...does that give you the right to try and sabotage my career.what a prat!!!!!!!1

3.I also realized not many people will be very amused with my career advancement..but tough luck..id id not sleep my way to it..i did not lie my way to it..i did not pretend to be what i was not..in fact i was totally myself..Thank you Lord.

4. I really appreciate my friends who are not sorority types who feel every single second we have to be together...i had to encounter such a person to really fully appreciate you guys...THANK YOU!!!!!!!i wish that person would just stop crowding me!!!!!! you are an awesome person but men you are really crowding me..i am at the resentment stage soon it will be the hate stage!1

5.I have to move out by June next year..i just need two flat mates who don't mind living in a furnished apartment and sharing rent...and am not living with guys,...females only.

6.i discovered i like on of my very good pals...and i like HIM more than a pal...lets just say after today i will know for sure....what up.

7.I discovered lame book and boy did i not die of laughter while equally gaped in shock at what some people post on face book. LAME BOOK is my new drug...

8.Sauti sol totally rocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!waaaaaaaaah that group is off the charts....while at the concert some guy proposed to the girlfriend...i am convinced the guy was drunk!! it just reinforced the truth that i HATE PUBLIC PROCLAMATIONS.I think they are insincere and its blackmail. IT IS BETWEEN THE TWO of us!! If i were the girl i would have crept outside to leave him to look like the eeejit that he is!!!!!!!!!1but she seemed impressed so i guess he read her right.

9. Some twat is still stalking me!!!!!! i am fully convinced the guy is clinically insane!!!!!!On th same note whether related i discovered some people actually eat the placenta after giving birth....some even fry it....some human beings should be shipped off to neptune
10. THis is not a proper blog post but i feel better all the same for posting s

being thankful

running on E

4:16 PM
By Anya
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A REJECTION ATTEMPT COUNTS IF YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

A REJECTION COUNTS IF YOUR REQUEST IS DENIED

A REJECTION ATTEMPT SHOULD PUT YOU IN A POSITION OF VULNERABILITY, BUT ALLOW THE RESPONDENT TO BE IN A POSITION OF POWER

Portrait of an ISFP - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Sensing)

About me

Pinterest

Labels

recent posts

Blog Archive

Instagram

Follow me

Socialize!

Portrait of an ISFP - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Sensing)