Divine creativity equals unusual me

Lurking on some blogs which have stolen my affections from my usual blogs. One of the posts was about how it’s difficult to say I love you, I’m sorry and I miss you; especially to members of the opposite sex. I agree but another that hit me as being super difficult is ‘I WANT YOU’ in every sense of the word. Be it you want the person for chex or for a relationship. I think it’s like pulling teeth out of me to get me to say those words. The I love you bit is not even arguable, there are countable number of times people have heard those words from me. I kid you not and they have learnt to live with the fact that I will love you without those scary words being uttered. I will give you my time to show you I love you. I am dead serious. If it’s a dude I have spent majority of my life protecting myself from being a in a state where I feel those emotions as I think it’s vulnerable. I am comfortable liking someone, being attracted to someone but not being in love with them. The two times I have been in love with some dude have ended up with disastrous results have just reinforced my defense mechanism, so  I am not worrying my head as to how , when to say I love you….ehhhhhhhh how about almost never. I am sorry is also not an easy one especially where I feel it will do no good. When I ma mad I like being given space to be pissed till I cool down enough o listen to any apology and so I treat people the same way. If I wrong you, I give you space, apologize and then back off. I don’t do the whole begging routine as I know how much I hate it plus anyone expecting it is just a tad too full of themselves in my opinion. I miss you is the easiest for me. I never say it expecting the other person to respond likewise. To me that is emotional blackmail.

 

I WANT YOU….now that is a minefield. I am trying to imagine saying that to anyone and that person having the power to reject me. The sheer humiliation and utter irrevocability of it. You cannot take back such a statement and forever you will have said those words. Yikes. I am of the school of thought of better not to say something than to say it and suffer bad consequences. Cowardly? Yes but trust me I am defensive like that. Even when in relationships I still find it extremely difficult to utter those words. They say both parties should initiate sex but it’s scary for me as a girl . It brings to mind an episode of the sitcom’friend” where Monica decides to propose to Chandler and she is on her knees and he is taking his time. She pulls him down saying that ‘she is a girl and there is reason girls don’t do that stuff”

 

To hide a passion totally (or even to hide, more simply, its excess) is inconceivable: not because the human subject is too weak, but because passion is in essence made to be seen: the hiding must be seen: I want you to know that I am hiding something from you, that is the active paradox I must resolve: at one and the same time it must be known and not known: I want you to know that I don't want to show my feelings: that is the message I address to the other.”

Roland Barthes quotes (French Critic, 1915-1980)

                 

 

I totally get what this French dude is saying since I am more inclined to do the above and expect others to read my non-verbal cues. This post had no relevance but perhaps one day I will look back and laugh at my inability to say ‘I want you’

Season 8 of American Idols was both awesome and painful to enjoy and endure. The artistes I loved were chucked even though they were more talented in my opinion. One of those was Allison Iraheta, the redhead. That chic’s voice is INSANE. Two of her songs kill me, Scars and Don’t waste the pretty. I love both songs in terms of the sound and lyrics . I love how scars start with Allison singing in that husky voice…’Did I say something Stupid?’ check out the video and the lyrics. I will share the lyrics for Don’t waste the pretty. It reminds me of some of my friends at different stages in our lives and myself at different stages of my life

 

Dust it off, break it down
Get to what we're talking about
To what we're talking about
Don't try and hide it now
You can't keep working it out
You can't keep working it out

'Cause I see how he's putting you down
I just can't be around
What you doing this for?
'Cause the light in you is starting to fade
Don't let it get away
Girl, you're worth so much more

Don't waste the pretty on him
Don't waste the pretty on pain
When it gets too much to take, don't give it away
Don't waste the pretty on life
Soon it's gonna fly on by
Whatever way you gotta see
Don't waste the pretty, yeah

Sit back and breathe it in
Look at how lucky we are
Look at how lucky we are
This life we're living in
You've got to follow your heart
You know I'm never too far

Away from the pain in your eyes
I can see your disguise
But it's not too late
'Cause I know you can turn this around
Don't be scared, work it out
And listen when I say

Don't waste the pretty on him
Don't waste the pretty on pain
When it gets too much to take, don't give it away
Don't waste the pretty on life
Soon it's gonna fly on by
Whatever way you gotta see
Don't waste the pretty, yeah

And just in case you need reminding
Well you're beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
And there ain't no use in your heartache
'Cause you're beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, yeah

Don't waste the pretty on him
Don't waste the pretty on pain
When it gets too much to take, don't give it away
Don't waste the pretty on life
Soon it's gonna fly on by
Whatever way you gotta see
Don't waste the pretty, yeah

 

Ok you know me and lyrics below are the lyrics to SCARS:

 

Did I say something stupid?
There goes one more mistake
Do I bore you with my problems?
Is that why you turn away?

Do you know how hard I've tried
To become what you want me to be?

Take me, this is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars
We all have our scars

You say don't act like a child
But what if it's a father I need?
It's not like you don't know what you got yourself into
Don't tell me I'm the one who's naive

Do you know how hard I've tried
To become what you want me to be?

Take me, this is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars
We all have our scars

Come on, just let it go
These are things you can't control
Your expectations, your explanations don't make sense to me
You and your alternatives
Don't send me to your therapist
Deep down I know what you need
And I'm not sure that's what I want to be
No, oh no

Take me, this is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars
We all have our scars

Did I say something stupid?
There goes one more mistake

In my blog voyage I discovered some really wise words from some dude and it deserves a post. I co-sign everything this dude had to say

 

• wg4ever January 5, 2011 at 2:21 am

long time reader, first time responding(sorry lol.) I am a man. My newlywed wife can tell you that SOME things a man does wont change. I think you’re speaking more on a cheating man. The whole idea that men WILL have more than one women in their life. Again, I’m just assuming this is in a large part of what you’re hinting towards. I’d like to think that anything a man does other than cheat wouldnot have u running for the door. You’re right, a man is gonna be a man. Just as a woman is gonna be a woman. Any extra acts are by choice. It’s all about choice. Decision making. If you love your wife as much as I do, you dont put urself in situations that will encourage infidelity. What helps me avoid certain situations is my past. I am the type of man that, not only learn from my previous mistakes, but also the mistakes of my peers. A man has to be ready to settle down BEFORE he even starts to look for a wife. A man cant see his wife until he is ready to be married. No woman should assume that they can make a man marriage material. He should be ready before he even meets you. And for those that have heard a man say he’s ready to settle, ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. And it doesnt take a week to see if his or hers actions support their claim. Max, you have alot to do with the amount of reading I do now. Thanks and stay true to you

 

 

On days like these when I have had a frustrating day at work my mind wanders back to those days when I used to laugh with him and trade insults and discuss all silly and important stuff. It’s not that I want him back but those were happy days and so it’s much easier and perhaps cowardly to look at a time when it was good, rather than create new happy memories. I went to what used to be our favourite place. I was with two colleagues from work. The place is very basic and has no glamour to save itself but some of the happiest moments I had were there and some of the most important conversations were held there. Yet some of the most painful memories were also there. Irony. When I looked around it was not the bad memories but the good ones yet it looked different and at first it was a bit hard being with different people at this place where I used to be with him Soon all that was forgotten in the fun and laughter. I am a different person but this song reminds me of back then. Long conversations till 3am in the morning. And sometimes I just miss those silly conversation especially now when I am so frustrated that I could pull out all my hair out. So tonight I will go with the same people to a different place and create new memories.

JOHN MAYER-COMFORTABLE

I just remembered that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
and rolled down aisle five
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave

I can't remember what went wrong last September
though I'm sure you'd remind me if you had to

our love was comfortable and so broken in

I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to
my friends all approve,
say "she's gonna be good for you"
they throw me high fives
she says the Bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was so dirty

life of the party and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane

our love was comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect
so flawless
or so they say

she thinks I can't see the smile that she's faking
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweatpants
no makeup
so perfect

our love was comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect
so flawless
I'm not impressed
I want you back

 

 

 

You've got a fast car
I wanna a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero, got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me, myself, I've got nothing to prove

You've got a fast car
I've got a plan to get us out of here
Been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
Won't have to drive too far
Just cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

See my old man's got a problem
Live with the bottle, that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
His body's too young, to look like his
When mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You've got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

Say remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You've got a a fast car
We go cruising entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
Now I work in the market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs

Say remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speeds so fast it felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You've got a fast car
I've got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me'd find it
I got no plans and I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

Say remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speeds so fast it felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You've got a fast car
Is it fast enough so you can fly away?
You gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

 

 

I WANT THIS LOOK….The hair that is….check it out in motion in her video You and your hand where she is punching the bag. Priceless

 

Damn! It’s a beautiful day. I went to the gym; almost died but survived and I am all psyched for work Happy 2011. I am grateful to God to be alive

Last week I started writing down my list of stuff that I hope to be, do etc…I was to continue the list before heading off with my girls out of town but Friday was mainly spent making phone calls.

 

LIVING IN MY OWN PLACE

It’s been a year of awesome fun living with housemates and away from my parents. It been a learning opportunity and it has also come with its challenges. I am glad that contrary to the doomsayer who predicted world war three we have lived harmoniously. It was interesting living with housemates from other continents who have a totally different world view and interesting encompasses the good, the bad and the ugly. As per my plan I would do the house share for a year or  a year and a half at the most then move out to live in my own place. A friend asked me why the rush right now. I do not think I am rushing. Though in me is the need to just be on my own and have a new start and walk away from everything that was last year but I AM NOT rushing in getting my own place. I will take my time but if I get what I feel is a good deal then I will consider it. So hopefully by year end I will have my own place with imprints of me in terms of décor and style.

 

MARATHON

This ties in with exercise. I started gym last year then slacked off in Dec for the holiday season but I fully intend to get back o the wagon. Each year there are several  marathons in this country and each year that goes by without my participation is a shame; so I will train and participate in at least one marathon and more if I can make it.

 

TRAVEL

I did some travel in 2010 but I feel I could have done more within the country. This year I intend to go to at least three other countries. One hopefully will be the UK seeing as my cousin is getting married mid this year. If one of my friends is to be believed then I should be enjoying the tiger prawns in Maputo. I intend to go to Baobab when it’s low season and experience the all inclusive deal that they offer and also experience the white water rafting in Nanyuki. We have plans to do some serviced apartments in Nyeri. Indeed that town is dear to our hearts and all topped with visiting dala in Kisumu City and Dar/ Mwanza. I would love for some man to take me to Zanzibar. I loved it when I went with my family but I would love to go back with some adoring man as an accompaniment.lol

 

WRITING

2010 was a blogging year even if it was not in depth blogging. I am going back to journaling. I think I really miss it. Journaling is also a bit more painful as I can never BS when I’m journaling like the way I can when blogging or talking. It is raw, blunt, honest, ugly, beautiful, awesome, exposed i.e. everything. Last year made me realize I need to be more cautious in my sharing of information with other be they friends or foe. Not that I journal deep dark secrets but rather my thoughts and emotions. I really want to incorporate the ideas Karen had on chokooloonks. Beyond the journals and blogs I have other stuff I should have written years ago but kept indulgently keeping off. I will try this year…That is all I can promise. I would like to also liaise with a serious fashion editor to see what I can do with that; I have some ideas but not yet concrete ideas.

 

VOLUNTEER

2010 must have been my most self-centered year. I used to volunteer for various causes but last year was a year for Me ,myself and I. As expected it was also the year filled with so much discontent and discord in my life. On the other hand I had experience of getting so caught up in whoever or whatever is happening that it permeates every area of my life till I cannot cope hence I have to precede with caution. I heard about Kimbilio Shelters from my boss and I would really love to be involved with them and help out in any way I can. It still haunts me that I feel  a calling to do something with young girls yet I never do anything. Apathy is horrible. I promised myself to thaw my heart a bit this year towards the people around me rather than just turn my face away from all of it.

 

LOVING ME

Each month to buy for myself one item or treat myself to one thing that reminds me that I am loving me and appreciating me. And more than that buy one thing big or small to appreciate one other person in my life to remind myself of how much giving and appreciating others is an investment.

 

INVESTMENT

I read up on RITS but not intensively so this year I would want to join one and do something regarding owning property or saving up to own property. I promised my boy that I would put a certain amount away for the trading in the stock exchange. In addition to that I have an idea that will combine my love for fashion and interior while still earning me money. I need to purchase a camera, a laptop and move into my own place and I should be doing more than a nine to five job.

 

HEALTH

Apart from the usual checks done annually I will do a whole blood work this year seeing as My brother has sickle cell and I need to know whether I am a carrier or not. I need to get a trusted dentist, gynecologist and general practioner whom I can be seeing regularly. I have a bad attitude when it comes to doctors and hospitals so this year I have to grow up. I could eat much better food than I am currently eating if truth be told even if it means looking for a cook.

 

Ironically I have left out my career yet it is the one constant thought in my mind…but for now it’s a wait and see.  I really hope I get to do most of these stuff and maybe just maybe I will like the girl in the mirror a tad bit more than  do now. Happy New year people. 2011 is here.

 

 

I know I do owe one silly lighthearted post after the numerous heavy and dark ones. I am back in the office but low workload so I will just do a collage of things making me  laugh or shake my head.

 

1.Dear Cupid,

I think I'll control the arrows from now on.

Sincerely, Broken Hearted.

 

·                     Response:

Charlotte 16 hours ago

·                     Sometimes I look in my mirror and think how damn lucky I am that both of the arrows hit my butt.

Major self love

•  

RaiseHell_DrinkBeer 14 hours ago

• Dear Broken Hearted,
  He was married, had 3 kids, and told you from the beginning that he was never going to leave his wife. Trust me when I say I didn't fire that arrow.
  Sincerely,
  Cupid
• Flag
•  

Kiana De Smet 13 hours ago

• Dear Cupid,
  
  Next time, shoot both of us, will you?
  
  Sincerely, Your arrow still hurts...
• Flag

2. Dear Shovel,

You shouldn't trust the hoe.

Sincerely, Rake

 

3. Dear Juliet,

You've known him for what... a week? Get over it.

Sincerely, Realistic Readers.

 

RESPONSE:

•  

iseereality

• Did you even read the play? Romeo only wanted to get in her pants. Pure and simple. It was idiotic teenage infatuation, that's one of the main reasons their deaths are considered "tragic"; the lack of meaning behind their deaths.

 

Lauren

• I did and you don't seem to be able to understand that point of the play was that love can conquer all, even family feud.

 

iseereality

• Shakespeare wrote for money, as most authors do. And in order to make money, he had to please his audience, thus the sappy "love conquers all" theme. If you'd actually read the play and analyzed the text, you'd have seen that the whole thing is a joke.
•  
•  

Lauren

• I agree with what you said, but i mean just because its obviously not real doesn't mean its a joke.
•  

iseereality

• But it is a joke.... it makes fun of how seriously adolescents take themselves in a similar way to Wedekind's Spring Awakening (I mean, of course, the classic play, and not that horrible musical).
•  
•  
•  

slightly_insecure_buzzkill_guy

• well to be honest i don't personally know shakespeare, so i don't know why he wrote his plays.
  
  if you know shakespeare what's he like?
•  

anacoluthia

• Love didn't conquer all. Why? 1) It wasn't love, it was obsessed teenage infatuation. 2) They died. Lack of conquering.
•  

fi

• Three days actually.
  
  But wow, you really don't get Shakespeare, do you?
  
  Another little fact: Juliet was only 13.
•  

Elizabeth Hubbard

• That explains it slightly
• Flag

 

 

B-ryce Divis

• And Romeo was a Pedophile...
•  

dinosrok42

• very much agreed
• Flag

 

Dear Snow White,

Never bite the apple. No good ever comes out of it.

Sincerely, Eve.

 

Dear Boys,

We will stop taking hours to get ready when you stop judging us by our looks.

Sincerely, Annoyed Girls

 

Dear Pinocchio,

I love the way you lie.

Sincerely, Rihanna.

 

Dear Kids,

There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents.

Sincerely, Wikileaks

 

Dear The Movie,

Meh.

Sincerely, The Book.

 

Dear cellphone,

Please don't ring as I'm pretending to talk to someone while ignoring the annoying person in front of me.

Sincerely, this just got awkward

 

 

Dear skinny jeans,

R.I.P.

Sincerely, the holidays

 

Dear gift givers,

I understand that "it's the thought that counts", but what kind of thoughts were going through your head when you picked this out?

Sincerely, are you serious

 

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic

 

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely, BP.

 

Dear Toaster,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

Sincerely, Toast

 

Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers,

If you do find one, what's your plan?

Sincerely, not very well thought out.

 

Dear Americans,

It's not a 'World Series' if you're the only country participating.

Sincerely, The Rest of the World.

 

Dear Arial,

Let's face it, you just aren't my type.

Sincerely, Times New Roman

 

Dear Facebook Friends,

Liking your own comments or statuses is like high-fiving yourself in the face.

Sincerely, Anonymous

 

Dear Easily Offended People,

You're right, it wasn't funny... It was hilarious.

Sincerely, The Rest of Us.

 

Dear people who clap at the end of movies,

They can't hear you.

Sincerely, everyone else in the theater

 

Dear skinny jeans,

R.I.P.

Sincerely, the holidays.

 

Dear Bedbugs,

Jokes on you.

Sincerely, Bed Wetter.

 

 

 

‘When Hitler attacked the Jews I was not a Jew, therefore I was not concerned. And when Hitler attacked the Catholics, I was not a Catholic, and therefore, I was not concerned. And when Hitler attacked the unions and the industrialists, I was not a member of the unions and I was not concerned. Then Hitler attacked me and the Protestant church -- and there was nobody left to be concerned. (as printed in The Congressional Record, October 14, 1968)’ - Martin Niemoller

 

First they came for the Jews. I was silent. I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists. I was silent. I was not a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists. I was silent. I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for me. There was no one left to speak for me.- Martin Niemoller

 

Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it. The Snow Queen- Joan D. Vinge

 

Indifference is the state of feeling where you just don’t care about taking an action, the problem with indifference is that sometimes you are aware that doing that thing or taking that action will get you much benefit but still you do nothing, indifference is not like lack of motivation because you may lack motivation if you are not aware of the importance of the activity, however if you are aware but still take no action then you are indifferent.

What are the causes of indifference?

The causes of indifference could be :

• loss of hope: you just don’t feel that your efforts will yield any result, so you become indifferent, because in your point of view taking an action will not change anything
• depression: if I were asked to define depression, I would have said it’s a severe case of loss of hope. Depression is the strongest factor that can make you indifferent. yes depression is caused by chemical imbalance but the chemical imbalance itself stems from the person's inability to deal with a certain life problem. Depression can be nothing more than a message sent to your by your subconscious mind telling you that hope is lost. Restore hope, take actions or find a way to respond to your subconscious mind and your depression will disappear.
• skepticism: that’s where religious indifference come from, some people just totally ignore the idea of doing good deeds and avoiding bad deeds, in many cases that happens because they are either skeptic or have become skeptic after they have faced some kind of experience that shook their religious beliefs
• Learned helplessness: After failing to do something many times or after putting much effort without seeing a result someone people tend to develop something called learned helplessness, which is a state where the person believes that whatever effort he is going to do still there won’t be any result. Learned helplessness is another major cause for indifference.

 

Sean Platt is an author  and shares 8 Ways To Stop Feeling Indifferent:

Have you ever fallen to sleep at night wondering if you’ve made any difference to the world around you?

Have you ever risen in the morning wondering if you even matter at all?

The key to living a happy, healthy, productive life full of vigor and confidence is feeling purpose, passion and genuine joy for the way you spend your days. Without purpose, passion is merely a silent suggestion.

Yet when you know your actions truly make a difference, joy and productivity follow as naturally as sunset after sunrise.

Use any of these 8 ideas to evaporate your indifference once and for all.

1)  Travel. Few things can fuel your inner fire like discovering fresh people, adventure, and experience. The sights, scents and sounds of a new spot on the map can help you see your old world with fresh eyes. Whether you’re heading to a new spot within your old city limits or swapping hemispheres for six months of backpacking, feeling lost can be one of the best ways to find yourself again.

2)  Teach. By passing your knowledge to another, you will not only illuminate the possibilities for another’s life, you will crystalize some of the skills that make you unique. Teaching another will help you to nurture a deeper sense of self and a more powerful sense of purpose overall. Explain, demonstrate, inspire. Be the teacher you always wished you had and you will move closer to the person you have always wanted to be.

3)  Create. Make something beautiful where there was nothing before and you might feel a purity of passion you never expected. Whatever your art – painting, poetry or even polka, producing tangible evidence of your individuality will help you discover your true self.

4)  Connect. An internal sense of belonging is a core human need that must be nurtured and should never be ignored. Because everyone shares this essential need, you can have complete confidence that the people in your life are looking to connect. No one wants to feel isolated or lonely – the key lies in discovering your common intersections and celebrating your collective interests.

5)  Help. It is easier to tap into your purpose when you are genuinely helping others in need. This isn’t hard, and you don’t have to wait to get started. Improving the world an inch or two at a time is as easy as stepping outside yourself and getting started today. Keep your eyes open for anyone with less than you, or anyone who might benefit from your benevolence.

6)  Ask. Who knows you better than your closest friends; the people who have seen you during both your highs and lows, and listened to your same stories over and over again? Don’t take their word as gospel, but do ask what they think your special power or true purpose might be. Chances are, you’ll be surprised by what they say.

7)  Read. Perhaps you can’t go continent hopping, but you can conquer space and time by turning the pages of any good book. Literature opens your ears to the language of life and opens your heart to your inner whispers. Make time to read, then reflect on what you read, and you may find yourself with a deeper connection to the life you truly want to live.

8)  Write. If you really want to know what makes you tick, start writing. I’ve been a professional ghostwriter for a couple of years, and I still marvel each day at the many things I didn’t know I thought. Writing forces you to organize your ideas and bring your emotions to the surface. Spend a day with nothing but a fresh notebook and plenty of ink – you might just stumble onto a powerful passion you didn’t know you had.

If your life has little purpose, then you are only living a little life. Find what drives you, then step on the gas and speed toward the life you’ve always wanted.