Something amazing is happening in me it’s like some slow simmer but I know and can feel it happening. A part of me is awakening, slowly languidly but definitely opening up. If anyone one followed my blog last year it was filled with references to this guy and how hurt I got….After all the hurt and rejection and failure of that relationship a part of me hid or more less checked out. The year that was last year had some ..shall I call them male characters…but I was not involved with them in the manner I normally would. I mostly met there guys in clubs or parties. Some would ask me to dinners and lunches and movies but I would refuse or avoid such guys. A different, earlier me would have been horrified at the idea of dating people in clubs…but last year me welcomed it. In hindsight it was safe and all I was capable of handling. Dinners etc are so intimate. The softer side of me…more like the part that believed in romance just wasn’t around and for good reason too.

 

That part is slowly waking up. What amazes me is that after all the horrible things I did and witnessed around me and the cynical attitude I assumed that it’s like some stubborn desert flower blooming against all the harsh weather conditions. The things my heart is starting to yearn for are so different from it did last year and it leaves me so astounded. Simply shocked. There is a simplicity that I am beginning to yearn for and await. I keep seeing these couples doing such mundane  things or having such unmemorable moments and I catch myself wanting that. A part of me is a bit embarrassed to even admit that but it is truth. There are a couple of interested parties surprisingly but the test is who will touch that new side of me without ever being given a clue. I am very independent person who comes across as a go-getter and indeed I am but right now it’s whole other song that meets my fancy

 

This post probably doesn’t make sense….but it’s like a record of the metamorphosis that I feel I am undergoing.