its new year's and for some reason i feel flat...like some anticlimax..i am HUGE FAN of New years!!!!!!!!!!!!christmas does nothing for me..but new year's is like my favourite holioday..i am ashamed to say i did not even wait for the clock to tick midnight i gave up fifteen minutes to the hour..it was depressing watching people walking off to the beach in pairs while my favourite is so far away from me...i decided to go sleep..i really tried to analyse the year but i could not for some bizzare unknown reason...i do it annually while setting goals for the new year..but i cannot seem to do it this year..The only clear thought i had was the wish that in this non-relationship i am in..i wish i loved the least...then i would hold the power...it reminds me of a novel by Fiona Walker which i was reading a few days back and some lady is asked if any of the relationships she is in..involves love and she replies that she doesnt know..and whoever was asking her replies"love is the one where you have no control" and i thought how apt!

anyhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...i have been on holiday from christmas eve in a lovely resort called Pinewood Beach Resort in South Coast of Mombasa...it is a really lovely place...very serene and not as crowded as North Coast...very intimate...if you are on a honeymoon ..it would be the ideal place...i had fun for the first four night..then it hit me that we would be here for another week..and i almost lost my mind..as my cousin Nicole says..i am a workaholic who barely knows how to relax..i know i ahve been moaning of how much i needa holiday but ten days is OFFICCIALLY TOO MUCH especially away from Nairobi...i love that City...i need it like a LIFELINE..to cap it all..i realised i wouild not be spending New years with my friends..my routine has usuaally been that i spend christmass with the family then newe years with my friends...why this fact escaped my mind this year is beyond me...before we came to the coast i had decided that this was the last holiday i was taking with my parents..i am too old and i need to start making plans wit my friernds...I NOW KNOW FOR SURE....that i aM NOT PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THIS AGAIN..I LOVE MY FAMILY TO DEATH AND I HaVE MAD FUN WITH THEM BUT AFTER A WHILE THEY START TO IRRITATE ME..ESECIALLY MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THATS a story for another day...

I have also realised that i need to move out of home as soon as possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i just cant take this living at home anymore...i can just see more and more disagreements arising between me nad my folks if the status quo is maintained.

i was to write about my stay here..but its too hot i am going for a swim...more laterts..hopefully